[lfjokes] Ali G - Liz Hurley Interview - Respect!

[Simondo]

From: Selwyn McCracken <selwyn.mccracken at stonebow.otago.ac.nz>


 Actual transcript of interview with Liz Hurley ..... enjoy
 
 Ali: I is here wid none udder than the women who starred in 57passengers
 in a plane wid a blackman wid a gun and International man of stupidness
 Austin Powerless Liz Hurley
 
 Ali: Good afternoon
 
 Liz: Afternoon
 
 Ali: Now Liz you is a bigtime porn star is you no?
 
 Liz: No I am not
 
 Ali: But is not you da one that did suck off Hugh Grant in the back of the
 car.
 
 Liz: No it was not
 
 Ali: So you is denying it then
 
 Liz: Denying what
 
 Ali: Getting your gums around Hugh's plums
 
 Liz: Well I can't really deny it because he is actually my boyfriend
 
 Ali: So let me get this right you suck him off because you didn't want to
 let off the punani but you was bored of the house so you did it in the
 car?
 
 Liz: No it wasn't me it was a prostitute
 
 Ali: and you was watching yes?
 
 Liz: No I found out about it in the press
 
 Ali: Did you pay for the prostitute as a present for him because you'd
 been to the dentist and the painters was in?
 
 Liz: NO! Hugh had his reasons for doing what he did, he said sorry and he
 is now behaving himself
 
 Ali: But is it true that he has been married 4 times and died once all in
 2 and a half hours?
 
 Liz: No that was the film that made him famous, it was called 4 weddings
 and a funeral.
 
 Ali: Now I 's have never met him personally but no disrespect true he's
 your boyfriend and all that plus he pays for it which must be cool for you
 especially when the pennies are low - but I heard he is minging.
 
 Liz: What's minging
 
 Ali: You know - not saying much, ugly as a women sumo wid a beard
 
 Liz: No No No Hugh is very charming
 
 Ali: He can't be that charming
 
 Liz: Why
 
 Ali: Well I know I is not that charming but I've never had to pay for
 punani except for the time I had to take me Julie to Kentucky because she
 can't do it on a empty stomach.
 
 Liz: What is Punani, is it some type of food
 
 Ali; Fi reel.
 
 Liz: Well
 
 Ali: You can describe it like that but you would have to tell people Not
 to chew it cos dat could be painful and if I was hungry and you offered me
 your punani I would be a lucky man
 
 Liz: Is it an exotic fruit
 
 Ali: Not really although the exotic ones can be better, anyway getting
 back to you. You was famous once no?
 
 Liz: Well I would like to still be considered famous I hope
 
 Ali: Yeah but you was famous for that dress yes!
 
 Liz: Which one - There's been quite a few
 
 Ali: The one where you was accepting the music award, the one wid the
 union jack all over it.
 
 Liz: I don't own a union jack dress
 
 Ali: C'mon Liz the whole world saw you drop the melons on telly
 
 Liz: You have me confused with someone else
 
 Ali: You is not in the spice girls?
 
 Liz: NO!
 
 Ali: Why not
 
 Liz: I'm just not
 
 Ali: But didn't they kick out Geri so you could step in
 
 Liz: No they did not and anyway I cannot sing
 
 Ali: don't matter at least it don't seem that way
 
 Liz: I am not in the spice girls, although I do like their music
 
 Ali: Anyway I muss say thank you to the one like Liz for her time and let
 you people know that it is OK for you to pay for your boyfriend to be
 sucked off in the back of de car and you can get famous for wearing
 dresses that don't fit and that the spice girls can't sing.
 
 This is Ali G bringing you the flavour straight from Liz Hurley Punani -
 Nuff respect