[lfjokes] alcohol warning

[Adam Shand]

From: Teresa Berus <teresa at spack.org>

Due to increasing products liability litigation, American beer Brewers
have accepted the FDA's suggestion that one of the following warning
labels be placed immediately on beer containers:

1.WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the
hell happened to your bra. (Apparently this has happened to several
people?!)

2.WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are
whispering when you are not.

3.WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a
retard.

4.WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends
over and over again that you love them.

5.WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

6.WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that
ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the
morning.

7.WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically
converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

8.WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical
Kung Fu powers, resulting in your getting your butt kicked.

9.WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the
morning and see something really scary (whose species and/or name you
can't remember).

10.WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of
inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

11.WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you
are tougher, smarter, faster, sexier, and better looking than most people.

12.WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are
invisible.

13.WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are
laughing WITH you.

14.WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the
time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may
seem to literally disappear.