[lfjokes] i'd always thought gays were regular people ...

[Adam Shand]

From: Morgan Likely <mrorange at spack.org>
URL:  http://www.theonion.com/onion3715/gay_pride_parade.html

WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA--The mainstream acceptance of gays and lesbians, a
hard-won civil-rights victory gained through decades of struggle against
prejudice and discrimination, was set back at least 50 years Saturday in
the wake of the annual Los Angeles Gay Pride Parade.

"I'd always thought gays were regular people, just like you and me, and
that the stereotype of homosexuals as hedonistic, sex-crazed deviants was
just a destructive myth," said mother of four Hannah Jarrett, 41,
mortified at the sight of 17 tanned and oiled boys cavorting in jock
straps to a throbbing techno beat on a float shaped like an enormous
phallus. "Boy, oh, boy, was I wrong."

The parade, organized by the Los Angeles Gay And Lesbian And Bisexual And
Transvestite And Transgender Alliance (LAGALABATATA), was intended to
"promote acceptance, tolerance, and equality for the city's gay
community." Just the opposite, however, was accomplished, as the event
confirmed the worst fears of thousands of non-gay spectators, cementing in
their minds a debauched and distorted image of gay life straight out of
the most virulent right-wing hate literature.

Among the parade sights and sounds that did inestimable harm to the
gay-rights cause: a group of obese women in leather biker outfits passing
out clitoris-shaped lollipops to horrified onlookers; a man in military
uniform leading a submissive masochist, clad in diapers and a baby bonnet,
around on a dog leash; several Hispanic dancers in rainbow wigs and
miniskirts performing "humping" motions on a mannequin dressed as the
Pope; and a dozen gyrating drag queens in see-through dresses holding
penis-shaped beer bottles that appeared to spurt ejaculation-like foam
when shaken and poured onto passersby.

Timothy Orosco, 51, a local Walgreens manager whose store is on the parade
route, changed his attitude toward gays as a result of the event.

"They kept chanting things like, 'We're here, we're queer, get used to
it!' and 'Hey, hey, we're gay, we're not going to go away!'" Orosco said.
"All I can say is, I was used to it, but now, although I'd never felt this
way before, I wish they would go away."

Allison Weber, 43, an El Segundo marketing consultant, also had her
perceptions and assumptions about gays challenged by the parade.

"My understanding was that gay people are just like everybody
else--decent, hard-working people who care about their communities and
have loving, committed relationships," Weber said. "But, after this
terrifying spectacle, I don't want them teaching my kids or living in my
neighborhood."

The parade's influence extended beyond L.A.'s borders, altering the
attitudes of straight people across America. Footage of the event was
featured on telecasts of The 700 Club as "proof of the sin-steeped world
of homosexuality." A photo spread in Monday's USA Today chronicled many of
the event's vulgar displays--understood by gays to be tongue-in-cheek
"high camp"--which horrified previously tolerant people from coast to
coast.

Dr. Henry Thorne, a New York University history professor who has written
several books about the gay-rights movement, explained the
misunderstanding.

"After centuries of oppression as an 'invisible' segment of society, gays,
emboldened by the 1969 Stonewall uprising, took to the streets in the
early '70s with an 'in-your-face' attitude. Confronting the worst
prejudices of a world that didn't accept them, they fought back against
these prejudices with exaggeration and parody, reclaiming their enemies'
worst stereotypes about them and turning them into symbols of gay pride,"
Thorne said. "Thirty years later, gays have won far greater acceptance in
the world at large, but they keep doing this stuff anyway."

"Mostly, I think, because it's really fun," Thorne added.

The Los Angeles Gay Pride Parade, Thorne noted, is part of a decades-old
gay-rights tradition.  But, for mainstream heterosexuals unfamiliar with
irony and the reclamation of stereotypes for the purpose of exploding
them, the parade resembled an invasion of grotesque outer-space mutants,
bent on the destruction of the human race.

"I have a cousin who's a gay, and he seemed like a decent enough guy to
me," said Iowa City, IA, resident Russ Linder, in Los Angeles for a
weekend sales seminar. "Now, thanks to this parade, I realize what a freak
he's been all along. Gays are all sick, immoral perverts."

Parade organizers vowed to make changes in the wake of the negative
reaction among heterosexuals.

"I knew it. I said we needed 100 dancers on the 'Show Us Your Ass' float,
but everybody insisted that 50 would be enough," said Lady Labia,
spokesperson for LAGALABATATA. "Next year, we're really going to give
those breeders something to look at."