[lfjokes] Royal Pursuits...

[Simondo]

  On the day of the wedding, Sophie was getting dressed, surrounded 
  by all her family, and she suddenly realised she had forgotten to get   any 
shoes. 
  Panic. 
  Then her sister remembered that she had a pair of 
  white shoes from her wedding so she lent them to Sophie for the day. 
  Unfortunately they were a bit too small and by the 
  time the festivities were over Sophie's feet were agony. 
  When she and Edward withdrew to their room the 
  only thing she could think of was getting her shoes off. 
  The rest of the Family crowded round the door to the bedroom 
  and they heard roughly what they expected, grunts, straining noises  
  and the occasional muffled scream. 
  Eventually they heard Edward say 'God, that was tight.' 
  'There,' whispered the Queen, 'I told you she was a virgin.' 
  Then, to their surprise, they heard Edward say.'Right. Now for the other
  one.' 
  Followed by more grunting and straining and at 
  last Edward said. 'My God! That was even tighter.' 
  'That's my boy,' said the Duke, 'Once a sailor, always a sailor.'