[lfjokes] Escaped Convict

[Simondo]

From: simondo <simondo at paradise.net.nz>

 An escaped convict, imprisoned for 1st degree murder, had spent 25 years
 of his life sentence in prison. While on the run, he broke into a house
 and tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom. He tied
 the man to a chair on one side of the room and his wife on the bed. He got
 on the bed right over the woman, and it appeared he was kissing her neck.
 Suddenly he got up and left the room. As soon as possible the husband made
 his way across the room to his bride, his chair in tow, and whispered,
 "Honey, this guy hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw him kissing on your
 neck and then he left in a hurry. Just cooperate and do anything he wants.
 If he wants to have sex with you, just go along with it and pretend you
 like it. Whatever you do don't fight him or make him mad. Our lives depend
 on it!. Be strong and I love you." 
 After spitting out the gag in her mouth, the half naked wife says: "Dear,
 I'm so relieved you feel that way. You're right, he hasn't seen a woman in
 years, but he wasn't kissing my neck....He was whispering in my ear. He
 said he thinks you're really cute and asked if we kept the Vaseline in the
 bathroom. Be strong and I love you, too."