[lfjokes] Sex & Calories...

[Simondo]

From: simondo <simondo at paradise.net.nz>

 It has been known for many years that Sex was good exercise,
 but until now nobody had made a scientific study of the calorific
 content of different sexual activities. Now after "original and
 proprietary" research they are proud to present the results.

 REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
 With her consent....................... 12 Calories
 Without her consent.................... 187 Calories

 OPENING HER BRA:
 With both hands........................ 8 Calories
 With one hand.......................... 12 Calories
 With your teeth........................ 85 Calories

 PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
 With an erection....................... 6 Calories
 Without an erection.................... 315 Calories

 PRELIMINARIES:
 Trying to find the clitoris............ 8 Calories
 Trying to find the G-Spot.............. 92 Calories

 POSITIONS:
 Missionary............................. 12 Calories
 69 lying down.......................... 78 Calories
 69 standing up......................... 112 Calories
 Wheelbarrow............................ 216 Calories
 Doggy Style............................ 326 Calories
 Italian chandelier..................... 1712 Calories

 ORGASMING:
 Real................................... 112 Calories
 False.................................. 315 Calories

 POST ORGASM:
 Lying in bed hugging................... 18 Calories
 Getting up immediately................. 36 Calories
 Explaining why you got out of bed immediately......816 Calories

 GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are:
 20-29 years old........................ 36 Calories
 30-39 years............................ 80 Calories
 40-49 years............................ 124 Calories
 50-59 years............................ 972 Calories
 60-69 years............................ 2916 Calories
 70 and over............................ Results are still pending

 DRESSING UP AFTERWARDS:
 Calmly................................. 32 Calories
 In a hurry............................. 98 Calories
 With her father knocking at the door... 1218 Calories
 With your wife knocking at the door.... 3521 Calories