[lfjokes] Rabbit hunting

[Simondo]

From: simondo <simondo at paradise.net.nz>

 The SAS, the army and the police decide to go on a survival weekend together
 to see who comes out top. After some basic exercises, the trainer tells them
 their next objective is to go down into the woods and come back with a
 rabbit for tea.

 First up are the SAS. They don their infra red goggles, drop to the ground
 and crawl into the woods in formation. Absolute silence for 5 minutes,
 followed by a single muffled shot. They emerge with a rabbit, shot cleanly
 through the forehead.  "Excellent" says the trainer.

 Next up are the army. They finish their cans of lager, cover themselves in
 camouflage cream, fix bayonets and charge down into the woods, screaming at
 the top of their lungs. For the next hour the woods ring with the sound of
 machine gun fire, mortar bombs, hand grenades and blood-curdling war cries.
 Eventually, they emerge, carrying the charred remains of a rabbit. "A bit
 messy, but you got a result. Well done" says the trainer.

 Lastly, in go the coppers, walking slowly, hands behind backs, whistling
 Dixon of Dock Green. For the next few hours, the silence is only broken by
 the occasional crackle of a walkie talkie: "sierra oscar lemur one, suspect
 headed straight for you" etc. After what seems an eternity, they emerge,
 escorting a squirrel in handcuffs.

 "What the hell do you think you're doing?" asks the incredulous trainer.
 "Take this squirrel back and get me a rabbit, like I asked you 5 hours ago!"

 So back they go. Minutes pass. Minutes turn to hours, day turns to night.
 The next morning the trainer and the rest of the crew are awakened by the
 police, holding the squirrel, now covered in bruises.  "Are you taking the
 piss?" asks the seriously irate trainer.

 The police team leader shoots a glance at the squirrel, who squeaks:
 "Alright, alright, I'm a fucking rabbit..."