[lfjokes] Axis of Evil

[Simondo]

From: simondo <simondo at paradise.net.nz>

 "In Speech, Bush Calls Iraq, Iran and North Korea 'Axis of Evil" --
  N.Y.Times, 1/30
 
  Beijing, Friday: Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of
  Evil," Libya, China, and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis of
  Just as Evil," which they said would be way eviler than the Iran-Iraq-North
  Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State of the Union address.
 
  Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new axis as 
having,
  for starters, a really dumb name.
 
  Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although
  they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil.
 
  "They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.
 
  "An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi President
  Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you
  had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So you can only have three.
  And a secret handshake."
 
  THE AXIS PANDEMIC
  International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift,as
  within minutes, France surrendered.
 
  Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what
  became a game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia said they 
had
  formed the Axis of Somewhat Evil, forcing Somalia to join with Ugandaand
  Myanmar in the Axis of Occasionally Evil, while Bulgaria, Indonesia and
  Russia established the Axis of Not So Much Evil Really As Just Generally
  Disagreeable.
 
  With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up,
  Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the Axis of
  Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Hostthe
  Olympics; Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the Axis of Nations That 
Are
  Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Nasty Thoughts About America, while
  Spain, Scotland, and New Zealand established the Axis of Countries That Be
  Allowed to Ask Sheep to Wear Lipstick.
 
  "That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do," said Scottish
  Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.
 
  While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun
  of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axes, although he rejected
  the establishment of the Axis of Countries Whose Names End in "Guay,"
  accusing one of its members of filing a false application. Officials from
  Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.
 
  Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but privately,
  world leaders said that's only because no one asked them.