[lfjokes] Pretty sad little bunch...

[Simondo]

My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli.
He was pulled in by a strong currant.

A man walks into doctor's office.
"What seems to be the problem?"asks the doc.
"It's... um... well... I have five penises." replies the man.
"Blimey!" says the doctor, "How do your trousers fit?" "Like a glove."  

Did you hear about the dyslexic alcoholic?
He choked on his own vimto.

Hear about the cannibal in an Indian restaurant?
He ate his Nan.   

Our local chemist was robbed last week and a quantity of viagra was stolen. 
Police say that they are looking for a gang of hardened criminals.