[lfjokes] Why Men are Just Happier People

[Simondo]

Why Men are Just Happier People

 * Your last name stays put.
 * The garage is all yours.
 * Wedding plans take care of themselves.
 * Chocolate is just another snack.
 * You can be president.
 * You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
 * Car mechanics tell you the truth.
 * The world is your urinal.
 * You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just
too icky.
 * Same work, more pay.
 * Wrinkles add character.
 * Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100.
 * People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
 * The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
 * New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
 * One mood, ALL the time.
 * Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
 * You know stuff about tanks.
 * A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
 * You can open all your own jars.
 * You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
 * If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be
your friend.
 * Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
 * Everything on your face stays its original color.
 * Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
 * You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
 * You almost never have strap problems in public.
 * You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
 * The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
 * You don't have to shave below your neck.
 * Your belly usually hides your big hips.
 * One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
 * You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
 * You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
 * You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 
minutes.