[lfjokes] There was this little old lady, see, and......

[simondo]

A little old lady, well into her eighties, slowly enters the front door
of an erotic sex shop.

Obviously very unstable on her feet, she shakily hobbles the few feet
across the store to the counter. 

Finally arriving at the counter and grabbing it for support, she asks
the sales clerk: "Ddddooo youuuu hhhave dddildosss?" 

The clerk, politely trying not to burst out laughing, replies: "Yes we
do have dildos. Actually we carry many models." 

The old woman then asks: "Dddddoooo yyyouuuu hhhave aaa pppinkk one,
tttenn inchessss lllong aaandd aabboutt tttwoo inchesss thththiiickkk?" 

The clerk responds, "Yes we do." 

"Ccccccannnn yyyyouuuu tttelll mmmmeeee hhhhowwww ttttoooo ttturrrnnn
ttthe fuucccckkkkinggg ttthingggg offffff?"