[lfjokes] Little Old Lady In Court ...

[Adam Shand]

Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age? 

Old Lady: I am 94 years old. 

Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st? 

Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me. 

Defense Attorney: Did you know him? 

Old Lady: No, but he sure was friendly. 

Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down? 

Old Lady: He started to rub my thigh. 

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him? 

Old Lady: No, I didn't stop him. 

Defense Attorney: Why not? 

Little Old Lady: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago. 

Defense Attorney: What happened next? 

Old Lady: He began to rub all over of my body. 

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then? 

Old Lady: No, I did not stop him. 

Defense Attorney: Why not? 

Old Lady: His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years! 

Defense Attorney: What happened next? 

Old Lady: Well, by then, I was feeling so "spicy" that I just laid down and told him 'Take me, young man. Take me now! ' 

Defense Attorney: Did he take you? 

Old Lady: Hell, no! He just yelled, "April Fool!", and that's when I shot him, the little bastard.