[wordup] He is not sick, he is British

[Adam Shand]

Via: The Eristocracy <Eristocracy at merrymeet.com>
From: http://www.thebrainstrust.co.uk/article.25.2137.html

DEPRESSED MAN DIAGNOSED AS "BRITISH"

George Farthing, an expatriate British man living in America, was
recently diagnosed as clinically depressed, tanked up on
anti-depressants and scheduled for controversial Shock Therapy when
doctors realised he wasn't depressed at all - only British.

Mr Farthing, a British man whose characteristic pessimism and gloomy
perspective were interpreted as serious clinical depression, was led on
a nightmare journey through the American psychiatric system. Doctors
described Farthing as suffering with Pervasive Negative Anticipation - a
belief that everything will turn out for the worst, whether it's trains
arriving late, England's chances at winning any international sports
event or even his own prospects to get ahead in life and achieve his
dreams. "The satisfaction Mr Farthing seemed to get from his pessimism
seemed particularly pathological," reported the doctors.

"They put me on everything - Lithium, Prozac, St John's Wort," said Mr
Farthing. "They even told me to sit in front of a big light for an hour
a day or I'd become suicidal. I kept telling them this was all pointless
and they said that it was exactly that sort of attitude that got me here
in the first place."

Running out of ideas, his doctors finally resorted to a course of
"weapons grade MDMA", the only noticable effect of which was six hours
of speedy repetitions of the phrases "mustn't grumble" and "not too bad,
really". It was then that Mr Farthing was referred to a psychotherapist.

Dr Isaac Horney explored Mr Farthing's family history and couldn't
believe his ears. "His story of a childhood growing up in a gray little
town where it rained every day, treeless streets of identical houses and
passionately backing a football team who never won seemed to be typical
depressive ideation or false memory. Mr Farthing had six months of
therapy but seemed to mainly want to talk about the weather - how
miserable and cold it was in winter and later how difficult and hot it
was in summer. I felt he wasn't responding to therapy at all and so I
recommended drastic action - namely ECT or shock treatment".

"I was all strapped down on the table and were about to put the rubber
bit in my mouth when the psychiatric nurse picked up on my accent," said
Mr Farthing. "I remember her saying 'Oh my God, I think we're making a
terrible mistake'." Nurse Alice Sheen was a big fan of British comedy
giving her an understanding of the British psyche. "Classic comedy
characters like Tony Hancock, Albert Steptoe and Frank Spencer are all
hopeless cases with no chance of ever doing well or escaping their
circumstances," she explained to the baffled US medics. "That's funny in
Britain and is not seen as pathological at all."

Identifying Mr Farthing as British changed his diagnosis from 'clinical
depression' to 'rather quaint and charming' and he was immediately
discharged from hospital, with a selection of brightly coloured leaflets
and an "I love New York" T-shirt.