[wordup] The President's Resume

[Adam Shand]

From: http://wmass.indymedia.org/newswire/display/2250/index.php

GEORGE W. BUSH

1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20520

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:

Law Enforcement:

I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the 
influence of  alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's 
license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost" 
and is not available.

Military:

I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take 
a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the 
Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.

College:

I graduated from Yale University with a low C average.

I was a cheerleader.

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:

I ran for U.S. Congress and lost. I began my career in the oil business 
in Midland, Texas, in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find 
any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my 
stock. I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal 
that took land using taxpayer money. With the help of my father and our 
friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was 
elected governor of Texas.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS

I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies,making 
Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston 
replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America. I cut 
taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in 
borrowed money. I set the record for the most executions by any 
governor in American history. With the help of my brother, the governor 
of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became 
President after losing by over 500,000 votes.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:

I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a 
criminal record.I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing 
cost of over one billion dollars  per week.

I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.

I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.

I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 
12-month period.

I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the 
U.S. stock market.

In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs 
and that trend continues every month.

I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any 
administration in U.S. history.

My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker 
named after her.

I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. 
President.

I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most 
corporate campaign donations.

My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, 
Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in 
U.S. History, Enron.

My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to 
assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election 
decision.

I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against 
investigation or prosecution.

More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair 
than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs 
in history.

I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused 
to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.

I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.

I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded 
government contracts.

I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any 
President in U.S. history.

I created the Ministry of Homeland security, the largest bureaucracy in 
the history of the United States government.

I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. 
history.

I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations 
remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.

I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.

I refused to allow inspector's access to U.S. "prisoners of war" 
detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.

I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election 
inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).

I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any 
President since the advent of television.

I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year 
period.

After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst 
security failure in U.S. history.  

I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade Center 
attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country 
in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.

I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to 
simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), 
shattering the record for protests against any person in the history of 
mankind.

I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, 
pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation.

I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. 
citizens, and the world community.

I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in 
duty benefits for active duty troops and their families -- in wartime.

In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for 
attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends.

I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans 
(71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and 
security.

I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a 
WMD.

I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden 
[sic] to justice.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's 
library, sealed and unavailable for public view.

All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my 
bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public 
view.

All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, 
attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and 
unavailable for public review.

PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004.