[wordup] Operation Take One For The Country

[Adam Shand]

This smacks of a hoax to me, but it's amusing none the less.

While I've got you check out the ancient sport reborn, Wok-Boarding 
(requires Quicktime) ...

  http://www.chiseen.com/vidshare/sm/wok_boarding.html

-- Adam.

From: http://www.takeoneforthecountry.com/article.asp
Via: http://www.boingboing.net/2004/04/27/when_booty_calls_fre.html

OTOFTC Article
by John Truman (published here by permission of the author)

Kelly McDonough types furiously on the keyboard at the cluttered desk 
in her house that serves as her unofficial command post. McDonough, a 
5'4" brunette, looks far younger than her 26 years; asked to describe 
herself she unabashedly says, "farm girl, which is what I am". She 
waves apologetically and says, "Sorry, I'll be with you in a minute". 
Amid various calendars and dry erase boards a hand painted sign hangs 
above the desk, emblazoned in military style stenciling "Operation: 
Take One for the Country". McDonough pushes back from the desk and 
exhales, "So you want to know how Take One for the Country started?". 
McDonough leans back in her chair, "It was back in February of 2003, 
when a lot of troops were leaving Ft. Benning. My girlfriends and I 
were partying at a bar frequented by soldiers. At some point one my 
friend leaves with a young soldier. The next day we questioned her and 
commented that the soldier didn't seem her 'type'. My friend just 
shrugged and said, 'Hey, his unit was going to ship out in a few days, 
so I decided to take one for the country', I knew right then and there 
that this was an incredible idea, so I started Operation Take One for 
the Country".

McDonough energetically describes exactly what Operation Take One for 
the Country does, "First, a military operation would not be a military 
operation unless we used an acronym, in this case, Op T.O.F.T.C., or as 
we say 'To-FutK'. Essentially we organize, discreetly, single girls to 
frequent bars and restaurants near military bases and, well, Take One 
for the Country, with members of the military, especially those about 
to go overseas". As McDonough describes it, TOFTC volunteers work in 
secrecy, "We're not out there with signs or badges. We are completely 
covert, you could not tell a TOFTC member from anyone else in the bar, 
and that is essential to the success of the Op".

  Military terms and phrases flow freely in McDonough's speech. She 
admits that, even with a brother in the army, before starting TOFTC she 
knew little of military life or lexicon. "There are a lot of girls out 
there like me who would like to do something for the country and really 
have no idea where to start. Our philosophy is if you are out there 
partying and engage in casual sex you might as well 'Take One for the 
Country'". The nicely built brunette sits cross legged on her chair and 
delineates what she sees as the benefits of TOFTC, "The men go off into 
harms way gratified, and because the organization is covert, they get 
the boost in ego thinking that they scored on their own attributes, 
they ship out relaxed and confident, with a distinct impression of a 
grateful nation behind them". McDonough is adamant about safety "The 
principle is simple, don't do anyone you don't want to do, be safe, be 
protected" and reiterates this when meeting with TOFTC groups.

Apparently there is no lack of volunteers for TOFTC outings. McDonough 
relates her findings, "There is some much societal pressure on getting 
a job, getting married, you know, getting ahead. I think there are a 
lot of gals out there that want to do something for the country, they 
may or may not support some aspects of foreign policy, but they want to 
feel like they contribute or make a difference. And this is a fun way 
to do it, . . . so to speak".

The map on the wall of her makeshift command post illustrates that 
TOFTC is a nationwide operation, and apparently growing fast. "We have 
19 officially unofficial TOFTC 'battalions', as we call our groupings, 
across the United States, and we are getting emails and calls all the 
time". TOFTC memos and correspondences are all printed on pink 
stationary using a handwriting script font, McDonough explains that 
this is necessary for the covert nature of the operation and that men 
will likely not pick up or read something printed on pink stationary.

TOFTC has not been able to maintain complete secrecy and word has 
leaked out. I contacted Annette Spargas of the UC Berkley chapter of 
NOW and asked if she had ever heard of Operation Take One for the 
Country. Spargas said that she, in fact, had heard of TOFTC and was 
working to find and protest the group at the first opportunity. "These 
women are really sick, they are prostituting themselves", Spargas 
ranted, "they are objectifying their bodies to the killers of the Bush 
cabals war machine. They need to examine how men have made prostitutes 
of women throughout time". McDonough is un-phased by this type of 
objection, "What a bunch of bay-auches! Those femi-nazis really make me 
mad. Yeah, we have a TOFTC 'battalion' in Oakland, but nothing else in 
the bay area. Berkeley girls are too femi-nazi granola and the Stanford 
girls are too stuck up intellectual. Not to worry though, we're getting 
some good indications of interest from Sacramento and Amador Counties 
(outside of San Francisco) and we'll be able to take care of the men of 
the Pacific Fleet, don't you worry".

Jane Kelso arrives at McDonough's house that afternoon to work on a 
TOFTC 'battalion' trip to Jacksonville Florida. Kelso is married to an 
army sergeant and has expanded the mandate for TOFTC. "I'm getting 
married women into the equation, but not how you think", Kelso offers 
with a wry grin. "Like any other woman, a wife or girlfriend of a male 
member of the armed services, probably withholds sex. I'm trying to get 
these women to Take One for the Country as often as possible before 
their husband/boyfriend ships out. I mean, some of this military wives 
think felatio is a Baroque era painter! These women need to suck, eh, I 
mean take a big money shot from their husbands/boyfriends as a 
patriotic duty".

The discussion naturally swings to the question of "Do you have any 
male volunteers?". Kelso brightens as she and McDonough exchange a 
high-five, "Oooo-aaahh, YES we do!". McDonough becomes somewhat somber 
and says, "There are plenty of single women serving in the armed 
forces, and as we've all seen, they are in harm's way, although for the 
men it may not be about sex, it could be going shopping or cuddling up 
watching a chick flick or a 'Trading Spaces' marathon. Same rules for 
the men 'Be safe, be protected, be discrete'".

Kelso and McDonough return back to planning the TOFTC trip to 
Jacksonville and whether they will need two buses get everyone there. 
Afterwards, McDonough mused about the future of TOFTC, "I think the 
concept has been around during every conflict the U.S. has been 
involved in, even during Vietnam. Operation Take One for the Country is 
here to stay, I'm going to make sure there is always a TOFTC happening 
somewhere. The members of our armed forces deserve it. God Bless 
America"