[wordup] I need an unstable woman for a drama filled relationship ...

[Adam Shand]

Source: http://www.ofuzi.com/2007/05/27/i-need-an-unstable-woman-for- 
a-drama-filled-relationship/

I NEED AN UNSTABLE WOMAN FOR A DRAMA FILLED RELATIONSHIP…
Hi there,

I’m seeking a like-minded woman to share a disastrous 3-9 month  
relationship with, ending in acrimony, emotional chaos, and possibly  
legal proceedings.

My name is Lloyd, I live in Chicago , I’m 27 years old, fairly well  
educated, I hold down a good job and am pretty stable. I’m told I’m  
fairly good looking, but I’ll let you be the judge of that - I’m  
generally caring and very honest.

I am looking for an attractive female who will at first give me  
obsessive love, praise and devotion - but whose paranoia, self- 
loathing and fear of rejection and abandonment will eventually lead  
her to alternately push me away and pull me closer in a love/hate  
cycle that will lead to infidelity, consensual sexual violence, and  
the eventual emotional breakdown of one or other party - or if we’re  
lucky - both!

You should:

* be 20 to 35 years old;
* have a history of short, intense, drama-driven relationships;
* enjoy degrading and dehumanizing sex;
* have undergone negative psychiatric evaluations in the past; and
* be willing to threaten self-harm and/or annihilation as a weapon to  
control your partner and make them stay with you and care for you.

Although not completely necessary, I would prefer women:

* with nice smiles;
* that have larger than average breasts;
* who are married or already in unstable relationships;
* that drink to forget; and
* who have had a previous established diagnosis of Borderline or  
Dependent Personality Disorder or Bi-Polar Affective Disorder - or  
who are currently taking Lithium Carbonate, SSRIs, or Tri-cyclic  
antidepressants

If you think you meet these requirements (and wow, I’m getting  
excited just writing them!), please don’t hesitate to get back to me  
as soon as possible. In the meantime, thank you for reading my  
advert, and do take care.

All the best,

Lloyd

ps This advert is in recognition of the big neon sign on my forehead  
that everyone else can see except me.