[lfjokes] Wave of the Future or Sack of Bile?

[Adam Shand]

From: Shannon Murray <Shannon.Murray at vodafone.com.au>

Windows: Wave of the Future or Sack of Bile?

Thom Duncan
Senior Editor
DeveloperNet University

Later this week, I'll be going into the hospital for gall bladder surgery,
so naturally my thoughts turn toward Microsoft Windows. The similarities
between the operating system and the sack of bile that hangs between your
liver and stomach are remarkable, to say the least.

First of all, consider the name: Microsoft. "Micro" means tiny, and "soft"
mean, well, soft. My gall bladder is, as organs go, tiny. And, the bladder
is soft, after all. Coincidence? I think not!

Still not convinced? Here's more proof.

What does the gall bladder do? No one knows for sure. The same with
Windows: is it an operating system, or a graphical interface? Every new
body comes with one already installed. So does Windows.

Maybe some details on exactly what the gall bladder does can help you to
see my point. The gall bladder shares a common path between the liver and
the stomach. The liver produces bile and sends it along this pathway to
the stomach, which uses it in digestion. The gall bladder manages to
collect some of that bile and ... well ... it just sort of collects it.
The gall bladder doesn't break down the bile into coarser elements; it
doesn't add any value to the bile. It just sort of collects it. It's a
holding station for intestinal juices. When it's removed, the body works
perfectly fine without it.

Does any of that sound familiar when you think about Windows? There's
more.

When the gall bladder becomes diseased, it creates these little things
called stones, that sort of float around in the bladder. When, however,
these stones get it in their heads that there's more fun happening in the
stomach, they try to pass through the end of the gall bladder to get to
the stomach. But this is very difficult to do because the opening in the
gall bladder is very tiny (see, there's that word "micro" again).

So what happens during a full-fledged gall bladder attack is this: you get
this incredible pain that starts in your right chest, and can continue
until it circles your entire body. You can be brought to your knees in
pain. You throw up, even if you haven't eaten anything. The only way to
get better permanently is to excise the sack of bile from your body.

So, let's look at the mounting evidence, so far, in the argument that
Microsoft Windows is like your gall bladder:

 * Your gall bladder is small (micro) and soft. 
 * Everyone gets one with their body (computer?) whether they want it or
   not.
 * It doesn't add any value to the body. 
 * It makes you throw up. 
 * When you remove it, the system manages to get along just fine. 
 * They're both sacks of bile.

Convinced?