[lfjokes] cool intro to an isp site ...

[Adam Shand]

this is kinda funny, i was actually thinking of starting up an isp along
these lines the other day with some friends.  now i know what to put on
the front. :)

From: rebecca <rebecca at wetafx.co.nz>
Url: http://www.flex.com/sign_up/

Hawaii's #1 High Performance,
Low-Cost ISP Leader! 

Notice to current America Online Users

If you are currently with America Online, please don't bother to sign up!
You have been warned...

This advice will save both you and us needless frustration. We are
incompatible with your computer system as screwed-up by AOL configuration
software and You. In fact, a lawsuit is in the works against AOL. So be
warned, NO REFUNDS or CREDITS will be given.

As a general rule, America Online users are not computer savvy or it
seems, capable of the level of technical sophistication necessary to
operate a computer outside of an AOL environment.

Notice to Everyone Else

If you sign up for a FlexNet account, you will only have three things to
work with: Username, Password and Modem phone number. If you have
questions after this such as: "Huh? ...What's the next step? ...Where's
the Internet Menu, Anyhow? ...I just got my computer last week! Can I call
you, and have you walk me thru the setup?", then PLEASE DON'T SIGN UP.

Remember, FlexNet does not have a technical support department. We don't
have the time to baby or pamper you. We won't let you bring your computer
down, for us to "work on it." No Ways. You have to be able to configure
your own computer, or find a friend that can do that for you and have that
friend explain what the Internet is all about and how to do stuffs.

If you are this friend, please just don't setup the user's computer, and
split. What will eventually happen is this user will start calling us up,
asking how to read email, or other silly things like that. There will be a
lota hard feelings on both sides when we tell them to go sign up with a
full-service ISP like PixiNet or Hawaii Online or LavaNet.

If fact, if we get a whiff when a user calls up that they are newbies, we
automatically suggest they go sign up with someone else. While this may
seem hard and cruel to you, please, PLEASE know that newbies calling for
tech support, and if FlexNet relents and gives such requested tech
support, will definitely "broke da shop" and cause FlexNet to go out of
business.

We don't offer tech support. So please don't ask for any. We are targeting
the ever-growing market of experienced Internet users.

This is why our monthly fees are half-priced what other ISPs wanna charge
you. This is the string. That's the catch. No Joke.