[lfjokes] The Homosexual Agenda

[Adam Shand]

From: The man with the Plan <daddymac at doughnut.net>

I know that many of you have heard Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, and
others speak of the "Homosexual Agenda," but no one has ever seen a copy
of it. I have finally obtained a copy directly from the Head Homosexual.

It follows below:

6:00 AM Gym and Tanning Bed

8:00 AM Breakfast (oatmeal and egg whites)

9:00 AM Hair Appointment

10:00 AM Shopping

12:00 PM Brunch (Salmon Benedict, roasted potatoes, mimosa)

2:00 PM
     (1) Assume complete control of the US Federal, State, and Local
         Governments, as well as all other national governments;
     (2) Recruit all straight youngsters to our debauched lifestyle;
     (3) Destroy all healthy heterosexual marriages;
     (4) Replace all school counselors in grades K-12 with agents of
         Colombian and Jamaican drug cartels;
     (5) Establish planetary chain of "homo-breeding gulags", where
         overmedicated imprisoned straight women are turned into
         artificially-impregnated baby factories to produce prepubescent
         love slaves for our devotedly pederastic gay leadership;
     (6) Bulldoze all houses of worship; and,
     (7) Secure total control of the Internet and all mass media for
         the exclusive use of child pornographers.

2:30 PM Get beauty rest to prevent facial wrinkles caused by the
        stress of world conquest.

3:30 PM Protein Shake

4:00 PM Tea Dance

6:00 PM Light Dinner (soup, salad, and skinless chicken breast, with a
        crisp Chardonnay)

8:00 PM Theatre

11:00 PM Bed du Jour