[lfjokes] from the mouth of babes

[Adam Shand]

From: Lorena Lara <lorenalara at infovia.com.ar>

A couple of little girls were playing on the playground at kindergarten
recently.  One suggested to the other that they play "house".  She said I
will be the wife and you can be the ex-wife.

A four-year-old girl was learning to say the Lord's Prayer. She was
reciting it all by herself without help from her mother. She said, "And
lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some e-mail.  AMEN."

A three-year-old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On
returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother there were two boy
kittens and two girl kittens.  "How did you know," his mother asked?  
"Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied. "I think it's
printed on the bottom."

Another three-year old put his shoes on by himself. His mother noticed the
left was on the right foot. Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet." He
looked up at her with a raised brow and said, "Don't kid me, Mom. I KNOW
they're my feet."

On the first day of school, the Kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone has
to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers." A little voice from the back
of the room asked, "How will that help?"

A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began
putting away the groceries.  The boy opened the box of animal crackers and
spread them all over the table. "What are you doing?" his mother asked.
The box says you can't eat them if the seal is broken," the boy explained.
"I'm looking for the seal."

A father was reading Bible stories to his young son.  He read, "The man
named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his
wife looked back and was turned to salt." His son asked, "What happened to
the flea?"

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3. The
boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw
the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would
say, "Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait." Kevin turned to
his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!"

A father was at the beach with his children when his four-year-old son ran
up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore, where a sea gull
lay dead in the sand.  "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked. "He
died and went to Heaven," the dad replied. The boy thought a moment and
then said, "Did God throw him back?"

After the church service, a little boy told the pastor, "When I grow up,
I'm going to give you some money." "Well, thank you," the pastor replied,
"but why?" "Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest preachers
we've ever had."

A mother invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to her
six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?" "I
wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied. "Just say what you hear
Mommy say," the mother answered. The daughter bowed her head and said,
"Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"