[lfjokes] Embarrassing moments.

[Craig Wright]

Curl Up and Die
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and
asked loudly, How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?
(Melinda Lowe, 39, Seguin)


TX Pad, please!
An insurance man visited me at home to talk about our mortgage
insurance. He was throwing a lot of facts and figures at me, and I
wanted to follow as best I could, so I told my 6-year-old son to run
and get me a pad. He came back and handed me a Kotex right in front
of our guest.( Kathy Newman, 46,Winston-Salem, NC)


Ho, Ho, Ho
I was taking a shower when my 2-year-old son came into the bathroom
and wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a mess, he
looked adorable, so I ran for my camera and took a few shots. They
came out so well that I had copies made and included one with each of
our Christmas cards. Days later, a relative called about the picture,
laughing hysterically, and suggesting I take a closer look. Puzzled,
I stared at the photo and was shocked to discover that in addition to
my son, I had captured my reflection in the mirror - wearing nothing
but a camera!


Lady Golfer
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I
was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing
for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking
gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing
with men's balls'.


Nuts about You
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy
behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm
just looking at your nuts."  My sister started to laugh hysterically,
the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day,
my sister has never let me forget


Mom's Advice
A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was
squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying attention. She
went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and
whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was
quite itchy. The teacher told him to go down to the principal's
office. He was to phone his mother and ask her what he should do
about it. He did it and returned to his class. Suddenly, there  was a
commotion at the back of the room.   She went back to investigate
only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out."I
thought I told you to call your mom?" she screamed.
"I did," he said, "And she told me that    if I could stick it out
till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school."
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