[lfjokes] Declan the crab.

[Craig Wright]

Declan the humble crab and Kate the Lobster Princess were madly, deeply and
passionately in Love. For months they enjoyed an idyllic relationship
until one day Kate scuttled over to Declan in tears.

"We can't see each other anymore..." she sobbed.

"Why?" gasped Declan.

"Daddy says that crabs are too common," she wailed.

"He claims you, are a mere crab, and a poor one at that, and crabs are the
lowest class of crustacean... and that no daughter of his will marry
someone who can only walk sideways."

Declan was shattered, and scuttled sideward away into the darkness and to
drink himself into a filthy state of aquatic oblivion.

That night, the great Lobster ball was taking place. Lobsters came from far
and wide, dancing and merry making, but the lobster Princess refused to
join in, choosing instead to sit by her father's side, inconsolable.

Suddenly the doors burst open, and Declan the crab strode in. The Lobsters
all stopped their dancing, the Princess gasped and the King Lobster rose
from his throne.

Slowly, painstakingly, Declan the crab made his way across the
floor........ And all could see that he was walking, not sideways, but
FORWARDS, one claw after another! Step by step he made his approach towards
the throne, until he finally looked King lobster in the eye.

There was a deadly hush......... Finally, the crab spoke......








"Fuck, I'm pissed."


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