[lfjokes] historical

[Adam Shand]

i am not sure how historically accurate all of these are, but it still is
interesting.

From: Teresa Berus <teresa at spack.org>

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whiskey.  The combination would
sometimes knock them out for several days. When found lying on the side of
the road they would be taken for dead and prepared for burial. They were
laid out on the kitchen table for an eat and drink and wait and see if
they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a "wake."

England is old and small, and they started running out of places to bury
people, so they would dig up coffins and re-use the graves. In reopening
these coffins, about one in 25 were found to have scratch marks on the
inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they tied
a string on the deceased's" wrist and lead it through the coffin and up
through the ground and tied it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in
the graveyard all night to listen for the bell. Hence on the "graveyard
shift" they would know that someone was "saved by the bell" or he was a
"dead ringer".

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May
and were still smelling pretty good by June. However, they were starting
to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the b.o.

Baths were a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the
privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then
the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the
water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying
"Don't throw the baby out with the bath water".

Houses had thatched roofs, thick straw piled high with no wood underneath.
It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the pets, dogs, cats
and other small animals,mice, rats, bugs lived in the roof. When it rained
it became slippery & sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the
roof. Hence the saying, "It's raining cats and dogs."

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a
real problem in the bedroom where bugs & other droppings could mess up a
clean bed. They found that if they made beds with big posts and hung a
sheet over the top, it addressed that problem. Hence those beautiful big
four poster beds with canopies.

Editorial comment: Beds consisted of a frame with ropes strung from side
to side on which a "mattress" was supported. The ropes were twisted with a
wooden key to tighten them to better support the big mattress. Hence the
term "Sleep tight." "Mattresses" were often made of leaves and small
brush, which could hold bugs, fleas and ticks. Thus the term "Good night
and don't let the bed bugs bite"...

Floors were dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt, hence
the saying "dirt poor." The wealthy had slate floors which would get
slippery in the winter when wet. They spread thresh on the floor to help
keep their footing. As the winter wore on they kept adding more thresh
until, when they opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A
piece of wood was placed at the entryway to keep the thresh in, hence the
term "threshold".

They cooked in the kitchen in a big kettle that hung over the fire. Every
day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They mostly ate
vegetables and didn't get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner,
leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight, and then start over
the next day. Sometimes the stew had things in it that had been in there
for a month. Hence the rhyme: "Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas
porridge in the pot nine days old."

Sometimes they could obtain pork and would feel really special when that
happened. When company came over, they would bring out some bacon and hang
it from the rafters to show it off. It was a sign of wealth that a man
"could bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with
guests and would all sit around and "chew the fat."

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with a high acid content
caused some of the lead to leach onto the food. This happened most often
with tomatoes, so they stopped eating tomatoes...for 400 years.

Most people didn't have pewter plates, but had trenchers - a piece of wood
with the middle scooped out like a bowl. Trenchers were never washed and a
lot of times worms got into the wood. After eating off wormy trenchers,
they would get "trench mouth."

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the
loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the "upper
crust."