[lfjokes] too many of these sound a bit familiar

[Adam Shand]

From: Teresa Berus <teresa at spack.org>

19 CLUES TO CALLING IT A NIGHT
aka. YOU KNOW IT'S TIME TO GO HOME WHEN

1.  You have absolutely no idea where your shoes are.

2.  You've just had to get someone to help you pull your pants up in the
    ladies room.

3.  You suddenly decide you want to kick someone's ass.

4.  In your last trip to "pee" you realize you now look more like Tammy
    Faye Baker than the goddess you were just four hours ago.

5.  You drop your 3:00 a.m.  burrito on the floor, pick it up and carry on
    eating.

6.  You start crying.

7.  There are less than three hours before you're due to start work.

8.  You've found a deeper side to the office nerd.

9.  The man you're flirting with used to be your 5th grade teacher.

10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing
    becomes strangely overwhelming.

11. You've forgotten where you live.

12. You've started to sound like Jessie Ventura from the cigarettes
    you've smoked, because (as you've mentioned like 10x's by now) you
    only smoke when you drink.

13. You yell at the bartender, who (you think) cheated you by giving you
    just tonic, but that's just because you can no longer taste the gin
    or vodka.

14. You think you're in bed, but your pillow feels strangely like pizza.

15. You start every conversation with a booming, "Don't take this the
    wrong way but ..."

16.  You fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when you sit on it.

17.  Your sloppy hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.

18.  You're tired so you just sit on the floor (and why not!).

19.  You show your friends that girls can pee standing up if they really
     want to.