[lfjokes] You know you have been in England too long when ...

[Adam Shand]

Australasian humour about England.

1. You don't even bother looking out of the window when you get up in the
   morning to check what the day is like. You know it is overcast.

2. Wearing a suit in a pub is relatively normal attire.

3. You can't remember what 'customer service' means.

4. After a big night out you find yourself looking for a Curry house, and
   not a 24 hour McDonalds.

5. You start to accept queuing as a way of life.

6. More than three hours sunlight on summer days seems excessive.

7. You always call soccer 'football', and you have a team ... and it's
   not Manchester United.

8. You don't think twice about buying a packaged sandwich.

9. A sunny lunchtime means searching for a patch of grass and stripping
   off practically down to your underwear.

10. You expect men to actually cut, comb and style their hair (using hair
    products). And to wear decent clothes. Jeans and a T-shirt are no
    longer socially acceptable.

11. You think 20 quid for a haircut is quite reasonable.

12. You finish every sentence with 'Cheers'.

13. You only just realise you have lost your sunglasses -- you left them
    in Greece 2 summers ago.

14. You start thinking English cuisine isn't all that bad after all, I
    mean, it's hard to beat a full English breakfast (???).

15. You are on to your 6th umbrella and your second overcoat.

16. You buy a disposable baby BBQ from Argos.

17. You realise your sunscreen is the stuff you originally brought from
    home with you.

18. A day at the beach means wearing the warmest clothes you own while
    standing on golf ball-size pebbles and the thought of swimming doesn't
    even enter your head.

19. You actually say, "Sor'ed" or "its all gone a bit pear shaped".

20. You believe that Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and
    Saturday are all good nights for drinking.  Sunday is also entirely
    reasonable.

21. You have given up complaining about the Victorian banking services
    offered in the UK.

22. You have given up explaining why you are half an hour late to work as
    no-one notices or cares.

23. Coming to work with a hangover is entirely accepted and indeed
    expected at least once a week.