[lfjokes] The Evolution of M&Ms...

[Simondo]

From: simondo <simondo at paradise.net.nz>

 Recently an Internet Service Provider conducted an audit of the Tech
 Support logs. Some personal entries were found. Here is one.
 
 "Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the
 strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M
 duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply
 pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters.
 That is the"loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately.  The winner
 gets to go another round.  I have found that, in general, the brown and
 red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior.  I
 have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the
 intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food
 world.
 
 Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or
 pointier, or flatter than the rest.  Almost invariably this proves to be a
 weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength In
 this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.  When I reach
 the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd.
 Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in
 an envelope and send it to:
 
 M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc.
 Hackettstown, NJ
 17840-1503 U.S.A.
 along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding
 purposes."
 
 
 This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2
 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant  money."  I have set aside
 the weekend for a grand tournament.  From a field of hundreds, we will
 discover the True Champion.  There can be only one."