[lfjokes] ALERT!!

[Simondo]

From: simondo <simondo at paradise.net.nz>

 READ CAREFULLY - AND COMPLETELY!!
 
 If you receive an email entitled "Badtimes," delete it immediately.
 Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty.
 
 It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also
 delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer.
 
 It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards.
 
 It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR
 and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to
 play.
 
 It will program your phone auto dial to call only your mother-in-law's
 number.
 
 This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.
 
 It will drink all your beer. (For Gods sake, man! Are you listening?!?!)
 
 It will leave dirty socks on the coffee table when you are expecting
 company.
 
 It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Regaine, all
 the while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and
 billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa card.
 
 It will cause you to run with scissors and throw things in a way that
 is only fun until someone loses an eye.
 
 It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your active verbs to
 passive tense and incorporating undetectable misspellings which
 grossly change the interpretations of key sentences.
 
 If the "Badtimes" message is opened in a Windows95/98 environment, it
 will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in
 dangerously close to a full bathtub.
 
 It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and
 pillows, it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk.
 
 **WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN.**
 
 And if you don't send this to 5000 people in 20 seconds you'll fart
 the next time you're making love.
 
 send send send send send................
 
 
 In case you are a blonde, this is a joke.