[lfjokes] Letter of resignation ...

[Adam Shand]

This claims to be "An actual letter sent by a fed up U.S employee", I have
no idea if this is true or not ... but i doubt it.

Via: "Murray, Shannon" <Shannon.Murray at vodafone.com.au>

Mr Baker,

As an employee of an institution of higher education, I have a few very
basic expectations.

Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that
ranges above the common ground squirrel.

After your consistent and annoying harassment of myself and my co-workers
during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one
of the few true genetic wastes of our time.

Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of
everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only
a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because
I know about Unix, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to
myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the
concept of "cut and paste"  for the hundredth time.

You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as
binary still gives you too many options.

You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try
and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as
effective as telling you what an IP is.

Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will. You walk
around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others.

You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for
your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it
off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring
ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green
algae that everyone else eats and laughs at.

Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle.

Seeing as this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full
frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation, however I
have a few parting thoughts:

1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal to
   give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I
   prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the
   next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be
   unable to do it on your own.

2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know
   every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to
   get cute,I am going to publish your "favourites list", which I
   conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do
   believe that terms Like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favourably by
   the administration.

3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your mothers
   b-day", you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures
   of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the
   techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such
   odd acts with a ketchup bottle, but I assure you that those have been
   copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing
   letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please, I hate
   having to correct your mistakes.)

Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my
desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your
little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public.  Never
f*** with your systems administrators, because they know what you do with
all your free time.

Sincerely,
Ted Brewer.