[lfjokes] Strike terror into the hearts of the Taleban...

[Simondo]

From: simondo <simondo at paradise.net.nz>

 Take all women who are within five years of menopause.  Train us for a few
 weeks, outfit us with automatic weapons, grenades, gas masks, moisturizer
 with SPF15, Prozac, hormones, chocolate, and canned tuna.
 
 Drop us (parachuted, preferably) across the landscape of Afghanistan, and
 let us do what comes naturally. 
 Think about it ... our anger quotient alone, even when doing standard
 stuff like grocery shopping and paying bills, is formidable enough to make
 even armed men in turbans tremble.
 
 We've had our children.  We would gladly suffer or die to protect them and
 their future. We'd like to get away from our husbands, if they haven't
 left already.  And for those of us who are single, the prospect of finding
 a good man with whom to share life is about as likely as being struck by
 lightning.  We have nothing to lose.
 
 We've survived the water diet, the protein diet, the carbohydrate diet,
 and the grapefruit diet in gyms and saunas and never lost a pound. We can
 easily survive months in the hostile terrain of  Afghanistan with no food
 at all!
 
 We've spent years tracking down our husbands or lovers in bars, hardware
 stores, or sporting events...finding bin Laden in some cave  will be no
 problem.
 
 Uniting all the warring tribes of Afghanistan in a new government?  Oh,
 please ... we've planned the seating arrangements for
 in-laws and extended families at dinners for years ... we understand
 tribal warfare.
 
 Between us, we've divorced enough husbands to know every trick there is
 for how they hide, launder, or cover up bank accounts and money sources. 
 
 We know how to find that money, and we know how to seize it ...with or
 without the government's help!
 
 Let us go and fight. The Taliban hates women.  Imagine their terror as we
 crawl like ants with hot-flashes over their godforsaken terrain.
 
 I'm going to write my MP. You should, too!