[lfjokes] Cow economics...

[Simondo]

From: simondo <simondo at paradise.net.nz>

A CHRISTIAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. You keep one and give 
one to your neighbor.

A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it 
to your neighbor.

A REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?

A DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel 
guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, 
forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted 
for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You
feel righteous.

A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and 
provides you with milk.

A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells 
you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.

DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows.  The government 
taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign 
country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy 
a bull and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The 
government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you 
for the milk, then pours the ilk down the drain to stabilize the price of milk.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows.  You sell one, and 
force the other to produce the milk of four cows.  You are surprised when 
the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike 
because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows.  You redesign them 
so they arean eleventh the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty 
times the milk.

A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them 
so they live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don't know where
they are. You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and 
learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 
cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop 
counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A MEXICAN CORPORATION: You think you have two cows, but you're not 
sure where they are. You'll look for them tomorrow.

A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs to 
you. You charge for storing them for others.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.

And last but not least, THE TALIBAN!

A TALIBAN ORGANIZATION: You have two cows. You load them up with
explosives and herd them onto your neighbor's property where you blow 
them up. Your neighbor dies. You starve to death.


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