[lfjokes] Star Wars - the Secret Ending...

[Simondo]

From: simondo <simondo at paradise.net.nz>


The secret ending to The Empire Strikes back


VADER: "Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father."

LUKE: "He told me enough! He told me you killed him!"

VADER: "No, I am your father!"

LUKE: "No... that's not true! That's impossible!"

VADER: "Search your feelings. You know it to be true!"

LUKE: "NO-O-O-O-OOO!! No..."

VADER: "Yes it is true. And you know something else? You know that brass
droid of yours?"

LUKE: "Threepio?"

VADER: "Yes, Threepio. I built him... when I was 7 years old."

LUKE: "No!"

VADER: "Seven years old! And what have you done? Look at yourself: no hand,
no job. And you couldn't even levitate your own ship out of the swamp!"

LUKE: "I destroyed your precious Death Star!"

VADER: "When you were 20! When I was 10, I single-handedly destroyed a Trade
Federation Control ship!"

LUKE: "Well, it's not my fault..."

VADER: "Oh, here we go. 'Poor me, my father never gave me what I wanted for
my birthday! Boo hoo, my daddy's a Dark Lord of the Sith! Waaah, waaah.' "

LUKE: "Shut up!"

VADER: "You're a slacker! By the time I was your age, I had begun
exterminating the Jedi Knights!"

LUKE: "I used to race my T-16 through Beggar's Canyon and bullseye womprats
back home..."

VADER: (rolls eyes) "Oh, for the love of the Emperor... 10 years old, winner
of the Boonta Eve Open Pod Race. Only human ever to fly a Pod Racer. Right
here, baby!"

(Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step toward it.)

VADER: "I was wrong. You're not my kid. I don't know whose you are, but you
sure ain't mine."

(Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down the shaft.

Darth
Vader looks down after him.)

VADER: "And get a haircut!"