[lfjokes] Kids say the honestest things...

[Simondo]

From: simondo <simondo at paradise.net.nz>

When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came
into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower.  She
said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!"  I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy
has a  baby growing in her tummy."
"I know," she replied, "but what is growing in your butt?"

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IT'S A DOG'S LIFE  It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in
front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was
barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got
back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied.  Puzzled, the boy looked at
me and then towards the back of the van.
Finally he said, "What'd he do?"

***************************************************
 A small boy is sent to bed by his father.   Five minutes later...
"DA-ad...."   "What?"   "I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?"   "No.
You had your chance. Lights out."  Five minutes later:"Da-aaaad....."
"WHAT?" "I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"  "I told you NO!" If
you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"  Five minutes
later......"Daaaa-aaaad....."  'WHAT!"  "When you come in to spank me, can
you bring a drink of water?"

***************************************************
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her
son into bed.  She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a
tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"  The mother
smiled and gave him a reassuring hug.  "I can't dear," she said. "I have to
sleep in Daddy's room." long silence was broken at last by his shaky little
voice: "The big sissy."

****************************************************
It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's
sermon. All the children were invited to come forward.  One little girl was
wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned
over and said, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?"  The
little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes,
and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron."

*******************************************************
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Mrs. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the teacher said,  "Bobby,
when I was a child, I was told that if I made ugly faces, it would freeze
and I would stay like that."  Bobby looked up and replied, "Well, Mrs.
Smith, you can't say you weren't warned.