[lfjokes] Jerry Springer Show Application

[Adam Shand]

Via: null at spack.org <null at spack.org>

GUEST APPLICATION FOR THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW

Personal Information:


Name___________ Nickname______________ CB Handle___________

Yore Mama Name______________ Yore Daddy Name(if known)________________

Spouse's Name_________________


Relationship to spouse:

___Sister ____Brother ____Mother ____Father ___Pet ___Aunt ___Uncle


Occupation:

___Unemployed Mechanic ___Gun Show Dealer ___Skinhead


Number of Children in Household___ Number that are yours___


Circle Highest Level of Education: 1 2 3 4


How Far is Your Mobile Home From a Paved Road: ___1mi. __5 mi. ___?


Number of Times You Have Survived a Tornado: ___


Number of Vehicles Owned___ Number on Cement Blocks___


Truck Equipment: ___Gun Rack ___Pit Bull ___Spit Cup ___Fuzzy Dice
___Rebel Flag ___Naked Woman Mud flaps ___NWO and/or NRA sticker


Weapons Owned: ___Tire Iron ___Pick Handle ___Beer Bottle ___Shotgun


Number of Dogs Owned: ___


Number of Homemade Tattoos: ___


Which of the Following Appliances are in your Front Yard: ___Friggerator
___Heatin Stove ___Warsher ___TV___Freezer

How Many of the Above Appliances Work: ___

Fav-o-rite Recreation: ___Drinkin ___Cow Chip Throwin ___Possum Huntin
___Crawdad Huntin ___Spittin Backy ___Scratchin ___Watchin Wrasslin


If You Can Read, Which Magazines Do You Prefer: ___Soap Opera Digest
___Rifle and Shotgun ___NWA  ___TV Guide ___National Enquirer ___True
Confessions


Which Stinks Worse: ___Hogpen ___Outhouse ___Spouse


Can You Spell Your Last Name: ___Yup ___Nope


Can You Remember Your Last Name: ___Yup ___Nope


Have You Ever Stayed Sober for More Than One Day: ___Yup ___Nope


Do You Know Any Words with More Than 4 Letters:  __Yup ___Nope


Which is Correct?: ___"I Seed Him" or ___"I Seen Him"


How Many Cartons of Cigarettes Do You Smoke a day? ___


Math Test: How Many Food Stamps Do the Following Cost? ___Six Pack
___Ciggies ___Shotgun Shells ___Backy ___Prostitute


Number of Times You've Seen: ___a UFO ___ Elvis ___Elvis in a UFO


Health Questionnaire: Which of the Following Do You Have? ___Head Lice
___B.O. ___Crabs ___Runny Nose ___Boils


Can You Remember the Last Time You Bathed? ___Yup ___Nope


Color of Teeth: ___Yellow ___Brown ___Black ___N/A


I hereby swear this is the trooth and sign my "X" on
_______________________________20__