[lfjokes] If God used a computer

[Simondo]

From: simondo <simondo at paradise.net.nz>

    If God Used A Computer:


    In the beginning, there was the computer.
    And God entered:
    C:\Let there be light!
    Enter user ID: C:\God
    Enter password C:\Omniscient
    Invalid password
    Enter password C:\Omnipotent
    And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Saturday, January 1.
    C:\Let there be light.
    Unrecognizable command
    C:\Create light
    Done
    C:\Run heaven and earth
    And God created Day and Night.
    And God saw that there were 0 errors.
    And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Saturday, January 1.
    And God logged on at 12:01 :00 AM, Sunday, January 2
    C:\Let there be firmament in the midst of water and light
    Unrecognizable command. Try again.
    C:\Create firmament
    Done.
    C:\Run firmament
    And God divided the waters. And God saw that there were 0 errors.
    And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday, January 2.
    And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Monday, January 3.
    C:\Let the waters under heaven be gathered together unto one place and 
let the 
    dry land appear and...
    Too many characters in specification string. Try again.
    C:\Create dry land
    Done.
    C:\Run firmament
    And God saw there were 0 errors.
    And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Monday, January 3.
    And God logged on at 12:01:00AM, Tuesday, January 4.
    C:\Create lights in the firmament to divide the day from the night
    Unspecified type. Try again.
    C:\Create sun, moon, stars
    C:\Run sun, moon, stars
    And God separated the light from the darkness. The sun ruled over the day 
and 
    the moon and stars ruled over the night.
    And God saw there were 0 errors.
    And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Tuesday, January 4.
    And God logged on at 12:01AM, Wednesday, January 5
    C :\Create fish
    Done
    C :\Create fowl
    Done
    C:\Run fish, fowl
    And God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that 
creepeth 
    where the waters swarmed after its kind and every winged fowl after its kind.
    And God saw there were 0 errors.
    And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Wednesday, January 5.
    And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Thursday, January 6.
    C:\Create cattle
    Done
    C:\Create creepy things
    Done
    C:\Now let us make man in our image
    Unspecified type. Try again.
    C:\Create man
    Done
    C:\Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and subdue it and have 
    dominion over the fish of the sea and over the fowl of the air and over every 
    living thing that creepeth upon the earth
    Too many command operands. Try again.
    C:\Run multiplication
    Execution terminated. 6 errors.
    C:\Run Breath
    Done
    C :\Run multiplication
    Execution terminated. 5 errors.
    C:\Move man to Garden of Eden
    Filename: Garden of Eden does not exist.
    Abort, Retry, Ignore?
    C:\Create Garden of Eden
    Too many parameters
    C:\Create Garden Eden.
    Done
    C:\Move man to Garden of Eden.
    Done
    C:\Run multiplication
    Execution terminated. 4 errors.
    C:\Copy woman from man
    Done
    C:\Run multiplication
    Execution terminated. 2 errors.
    C:\Create desire
    Done
    C:\Run multiplication
    And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden of 
Eden.
    Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
    C:\Create freewill
    Done
    C:\Run freewill
    And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden of 
Eden.
    Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 error.
    C:\Undo desire
    Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
    C:\Destroy freewill
    Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
    Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
    C :\Help
    Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created. Freewill is an
    inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed. Enter replacement, cancel, or 
ask 
    for help.
    C:\Create tree of knowledge
    C:\Create good, evil
    Done
    C:\Activate evil
    And God saw he had created shame.
    Warning system error in sector E95.
    Man and woman no longer located in Garden of Eden.
    1 error.
    C:\Scan Garden of Eden for man, woman
    Search failed. Abort, Retry, Ignore?
    C:\Delete shame
    Shame cannot be deleted once evil has been activated.
    C :\Destroy freewill
    Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed. Enter 
replacement, 
    cancel, or ask for help.
    C:\Stop
    Unrecognizable command. Try again.
    C:\Ctrl_Break
    C:\Ctrl_Break
    ATTENTION ALL USERS *** ATTENTION ALL USERS: COMPUTER 
GOING DOWN FOR REGULAR 
    DAY OF MAiNTENANCE AND REST IN FIVE MINUTES PLEASE LOG 
OFF.
    C:\Create new world
    You have exceeded allocated file space. You must destroy old files before 
new 
    ones can be created.
    C:\Destroy earth
    Destroy earth: Please confirm.
    C:\Destroy earth
    Confirmed
    COMPUTER DOWN *** COMPUTER DOWN.
    SERVICE WILL RESUME Saturday, January 8 AT 6:00 AM.
    YOU MUST SIGN OFF NOW.
    And God logged off at 11:59:59 PM, Friday, January 7.
    On Saturday, January 8, God rested. On January 9, God created 
Macintosh.