[lfjokes] Mullet Haikus

[Adam Shand]

MULLET HAIKUS 

O! SQUIRREL brother, 
Your tail, my hair. We are one. 
Yet I must eat you. 

Brown edged tank top sticks 
to my white clumpy armpits 
Somehow I get laid. 

Flowing down the back 
helps to keep mind closed, hate 
released by short top 

My hair is slammin 
like Stone Cold. Can I get a Hell 
yeah? Hell yeah. Hell yeah. 

This super cool hair 
and a bucket of chicken: 
What more could I want? 

Lynnrd Skynnrd didn't 
win no spelling bees. Who cares? 
They rock the trailer. 

Razor set to one. 
Do front and sides and then stop 
Reaffirm my style. 

Teen runaway, I 
hate my dad. Yet I am one. 
Fly, thunderbird, fly. 

Ponytails are for wimps. 
But if you let that hair loose, 
you are my brother. 

Short like your schooling. 
Long like your prison sentence. 
The penal haircut. 

Bald on the top and 
long on the back. Behold my 
glorious skullet. 

Dad likes my mullet. 
The nurse calls it a critter 
carpet. My head breeds. 

One day I will dip 
and race cars. Until then I 
ride my bike, chew gum. 

Short for dad. Long for 
the daughter mom always wanted. 
Everyone's happy.