[lfjokes] I wanna be a bear...

[Simondo]

 I wanna be a bear.

 If you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six
 months.

 I could deal with that.

 Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal
 with that, too.

 If you're a bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts)
 while you're sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute cuddly cubs.

 I could definitely deal with that.

 If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat 
anyone
 who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too.

 I could deal with that.

 If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS
 that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.


 Yup..... I wanna be a bear.