[lfjokes] The Holy War.........?

[Simondo]

  An old lady dies and goes to heaven and is chatting with St. Peter at
  the Pearly Gates when all of a sudden she hears the most awful
  blood-curdling screams.

  "Don't worry about that," says St. Peter. "It's only someone having the
  holes bored on their shoulder blade for the wings."

  The old lady looks a little uncomfortable but carries on the
  conversation. Ten minutes later, there are more blood-curdling
  screams.

  "Oh my God," says the old lady, "now what is happening?"

  "Not to worry," says St. Peter, "they are just having their head
  drilled to fit the halo."

  "I can't do this," says the old lady. "I'm going off down to hell.

  "You can't go there," says St. Peter. "You'll be raped and sodomized."

  "Yes," says the old lady, "but I've already got the holes for that!"