[lfjokes] Mixed bag....

[Simondo]

 Words of Wisdom For a Woman
 ----------------------------------------------
 1. It is important to find a man who loves only you.

 2. It is important to find a man who cooks and cleans.

 3. It is important to find a man who makes good money.

 4. It is important to find a man who likes to have sex.

 5. It is important to find a man who is sensitive and understanding.

 6. It is important to find a  man who loves to dance with only you.

 And, most of all

 7. It is important that these six men never meet.


 =================================================
 A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous
 redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out
 since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly,
 she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket
 towards the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the
 air, and hands it back. 

 "Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye
 back in place, "Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you." 

 They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards the
 theatre followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares
 her deepest dreams and he shares his. 

 She listens. 

 After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come
 to her place for a nightcap ......... and stay for breakfast. 

 The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. 

 The guy is amazed!! 
 Everything had been SO incredible!!!! "You know," he said,
 "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you
 meet?". 

 "No," she replies......... "You just happened to catch my eye."