[lfjokes] Xmas

[Simondo]

Apparently from http://www.southngal.com 


 A Note From Santa

 Dear Friends,

I have been watching you very closely to see if you have been good this 
year and since you have, I will be telling my elves to make some goodies 
for me to leave under your tree at Christmas. I was going to bring you 
all gifts from the 12 days of Christmas, but we had a little problem.  

The 12 fiddlers fiddling have all come down with VD from fiddling with 
the 10 ladies dancing, the 11 lords leaping have knocked up the 8 maids a-
milking, and the 9 pipers piping have been arrested for doing weird 
things to the 7 swans a-swimming. The 6 geese a-laying, 4 calling birds, 
3 French hens, 2 turtle doves and the partridge in a pear tree have me up 
to my sled runners in bird crap.  

On top of all this Mrs. Claus is going through menopause, 8 of my 
reindeer are in heat, the elves have joined the gay liberation and some 
people who can't read a calendar have scheduled Christmas for the 5th of 
January.  

Maybe next year I will be able to get my shit together and bring you the 
things you want. This year I suggest you get your asses down to K-Mart 
before everything is gone.  

Sincerely, Santa Claus  

 © Southngal's Letters