[lfjokes] Nigerian 419 fraudster baiting - Olympic sport?

Wed Dec 11 07:16:04 EST 2002

From: http://www.fattibastardo.com/fraud.html

via The Register article: 
http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/28/28507.html

 The Graham Douglas
 Fraud Masterclass

 Posing as a Nigerian Doctor, Graham Douglas sets his trap. A hotmail
 address is found, and baited with some juicy spam..

 I know that this email will surely come to you as asurprise, but I will
 crave your indulgence to view it seriously and I apologise, but I hope
 that it will be a welcome surprise. Before I run out of steam, I will like
 to introduce my self and go straight to the point. My name is Dr.Graham
 Douglas a banker. My primary reason for writing to you is to seek your
 partnership/assistance in a business transaction. I need your partnership
 and assistance because of the following reasons:

 A ludicrous plan to launder $18,500,000 US is outlined over 2 pages. If
 the recipient doesn't help with the plan, then corrupt Nigerian officials
 will get the money and use it to buy guns, but if help is given, 30% of
 the profits are available  

 Surely, you must have some questions or may be you just need further
 clarification. I will be happy to receive a telephone call from you or a
 fax message to this effect, this will enable me explain further what the
 next step is and the general plan

 Dr.Graham Douglas.

 On the other side of the world, someone heeds this call for help

 Dear Graham,

 Please allow me to help, it sounds very important.

 I received your email with thanks and I appreciate your response with your
 willingness and readiness to assist us in this transaction,

 (The Dr waffles on for a bit:- in brief, he wants my personal details and
 assurances of secrecy, “confidentiality” he claims, is his watchword)

 Please, revert as soon as possible.
 Best Regards.
 Dr. Graham Douglas.

 Graham, (I hope it’s o.k. to call you graham, I thought it was more
 discrete than using your surname),

 Thanks again for selecting me to help in this matter. Rest assured I
 understand all that you mean when you mention “trust and confidentiality”
 and consider these two issues to be the foundation of any business
 relationship. Obviously you do too, which I find very reassuring.

 I enclose the name and address you requested and look forward to hearing
 from you again.

 Name:        Norman Bettison

 Address:    Station House
                    Manor Road
                    Wallasey
                    Wirral
                    Merseyside
                    CH44 1DA

 Oh No! somehow the details I sent have got mixed up with those of Norman
 Bettison, the Chief Constable of Merseyside Police

 Dear Norman,

 Thank you very much for your mail,and your willingness to participate in
 this mutual beneficial project.

 Norman,i am an honest and GOD fearing person.I have already told you this
 in my prvious mails to you.I am assuring you once more of your 100% risk
 free participation in this project.Like i did say i have a name and
 reputation to maintain,please do keep this transaction confidential and do
 not discuss it with anyone for now.

 Brother,like i did say i will require you to travel to recieve payment of
 this funds from our offshore paying centre`s of my Bank.I will require to
 please let me know which of the continets you wish to recieve payment so i
 let you the various centre`s there.

  Brother,i have forwarded your informations to my Lawyer to start
  preparation of the release Documents for my Bank.I have also given him
  money to prepare the Tax Clearance from the Ministry of Finance,as my
  Bank demands this Documents before the final approval for the release of
  the Estate to the beneficiary(You).

  Norman,by GOD`s grace he should be through with this Documents by
  Friday.And i will use my influence as a Director to make sure the funds
  be released to you immediately so you can go to any of the countries for
  payment.

  Norman,as you can see in this transaction time is of equal importance as
  confidentiality.So do get back to me with the answers to all my
  question`s.I will not want to delay this transaction,i will want us to
  conclude this transaction within ten working days as i have earlier
  stated.

  Norman,i will want you to please give a brief detail about yourself.Your
  age,profession,marital statue.

  Norman,please send to me immediately all your numbers,for easier
  communication.Norman,let confidentiality be our watchword.Once again i
  assure you 100% risk free participation.

  I await your mail.

  Regards,

  Graham.

 Dear Graham,

 Thank you for being so swift with your reply. I was reassured to see you
 are a God fearing man, as I am myself, for I feel safe doing business with
 a fellow servant of the Lord Jesus Christ, our saviour. 

 I am in full time employment so if you can give me some idea of when I
 will need to travel, I will be able to book some time off. I need about 2
 weeks notice really, to avoid any suspicion, so hopefully you will be able
 to wait for 4 days more than the ten you suggested.

 To make our business arrangement as confidential as possible, I will be
 pretending to be going away for a holiday, as I usually do every year at
 about this time.

  If we can meet in the USA it will not be suspicious to anyone I work
  with, as I have often talked about going on holiday there. Here are the
  details you requested:

 Age                                55
 Profession                    Advertising Executive
 Marital Status               Single (widowed)
 Fax:                                0151 777 6999 <====    ( the  Chief
 Constable’s fax no.)

 The fax number is my own personal fax machine in my office, I have not put
 my phone number down as that will always be answered by my secretary, and
 it is possible that she could listen in to our call without us knowing,
 and as you say, “let confidentiality be our watchword”

 I look forward to doing business with you.

 Yours in God,

 Norman

 P.S. Please let me know if you would like any further assistance

 Dear Norman 

 Norman,i must confess that i am really impressed with the way things are
 going as planned.I will want you to know that once you have the funds in
 you custody you will invite me over to your place so i can come around for
 my share.

 Norman,i want you to know that our relationship will not only be a
 business relationship but as brothers. 

 I will await your call or mail.My Number:+234-8023002749. 

 Regards,

 Dr Graham.

 Graham, 

 I was so pleased to hear from you again so quickly. Even though I have not
 yet met you, I can honestly say that I think of you as a brother too. 

 Originally you offered me 30% of the profits from our venture, but as
 brothers, should we not be sharing more equally?

 I was going to ask for 50% of the profits until I realised that you will
 doubtless be incurring expenses at your end, so I am asking you to
 consider a split of 60% for you and 40% for me. 

 I was thinking, is it necessary that I open a new bank account for this?
 or will it seem suspicious? 

 My job gives me full control of two company bank accounts. Both of these
 accounts have large but varying sums of money passing through them most
 weeks, and would be a good way of keeping things very discrete. Large
 amounts of cash in a new bank account will attract the attention of the
 banks and tax people straight away, but will seem normal in these business
 accounts. 

 Regards,

 Norman 

 P.S. Now we are friends, you can call me 'Normy' (everyone else does)

 Normy

 Thanks for the mail,i must say i expected your call all through. Normy i
 will want a situation where you reply may mails more quickly.In this
 transaction time is equal importance as confidentiality. 

 Normy,i want you to know that i am not the only person over here so the
 percentage you are insisting on will not be possible.I insist that we
 share this money 30/60 as we have previously agreed.The remaining 10% will
 be used for cost from both sides.Think of what 30% of this will do for
 you. 

 Normy,i still insist that you call me on my tel:+234-8023002749. 

 Regards, 

 Graham

 Graham, 

 I have just booked my flight, it is as far as anyone else knows, a holiday
 flight and I am going to stay with an old friend in upstate New York for 7
 days. It's Friday 22nd November, the Virgin Atlantic flight VS003 from
 Heathrow to JFK, leaving at 14:00 and arriving at 16:40. 

 I have to confess I am a little nervous about things since I read your
 last email. As you know, I have acted swiftly at all times, and maintained
 total confidentiality, so why do you feel you have to become threatening
 with "insist" and "demand", and why do you want me to maintain
 confidentiality when you also want me to phone you on a notoriously
 insecure international telephone line? 

 We should really start to encrypt our correspondence as I believe the
 FBI's Echelon system reads lots of emails in secret. 

 I know a lot depends on you being able to trust me, and me trusting you,
 so we will understandably be a little nervous of each other, so can you
 just reassure me that I am still your friend as well as being your
 business partner 

 Love,

 Norm

 Normy, 

 Thank you very much for your mail and also sdending and confirming your
 flight schedule to me. Normy,i want you to understand that everything is
 really working out well over here. 

 Normy,what will you tell your friend you came to USA for?And what will you
 tell him about the money when you finally recieve it?Please let me know
 what your answers will be.

  Normy,the payment centre is in Houston.I would have preferef you Travel
  there and check into an Hotel instead.For the sake of confidetiality i
  would have prefered you going straight to Houston,and after recieving
  payment you can now go to New-york to stay for the remaining days before
  going back. 

 Normy,i hope you understand this.I am not trying to be too forward,but
 only trying to safe this Project that have put in soo much to bring to
 this level.I would not want anything that will Jeorpardise this Project.I
 hope you understand this my Good Friend. 

 Normy,you did not sway anything about the safety of this funds in your
 company account as you said in your last mail and also if you have agreed
 with the sharing percentage.

  Normy,i sincerely pray that the Approval will be sighned by Monday for
  the release of the funds to you by the Chairman of my Bank.Immediately
  this Approval is sighned a notification will be sent to the Officials in
  Houston to pay you. 

 Normy,i will await your mail and answers to this few question.I hope you
 still call me. 

 Regards, 

 Graham

 Graham, 

 I have already told you in previous emails about what I am telling people.
 In the UK, most people I know are not being told anything at all. 

 Those that would notice me having gone are being told that I am going on
 my long awaited holiday to America, for 2 weeks and that I will at some
 point be staying with my friend, Dr Richard Feynmann, at his Country Club
 in upstate New York. 

 I have known Richard since I was 6 years old and even he knows nothing
 about our plans. He doesn't even know I am going to be in the USA so I
 hope I don't bump into him, mind you, the USA is a big place, isn't it. 

 About the money, I am going to tell everyone exactly the same thing, so I
 don't make any mistakes. I am going to tell them absolutely fuck all. 

 I will see about changing my flight plans tomorrow and let you know then
 what the Sit. Rep. is vis a vis the tete a tete we have planned. 

 All my Love, friend, 

 Normy. x x x

 Normy, 

 I am really pleased with your reply to my mail,you see i was just trying
 to make sure everything works out well.And i know everything will be cool.

 Normy,i am in the Office and by Gods grace the Approval would have been
 sighned by the Chairman of my Bank before the end of the day.Once this is
 done,we are through with this project.As all that will be remaining will
 be you travelling to Houston to pick up this money.I will want you to
 please reconfirm your tel number to me,so i can call you once this is done
 since you have refused to call me. 

 Regards, 

 Graham. 

 Graham

 Sing Hosanna! The Lord Jesus Christ, our Saviour, was truly watching over
 us! pardon me for being a little rude, but FUCKIN'G HELL! YESSSSS!!!!! I
 AM ONE RICH MOTHERFUCKER NOW!!!! 

 Now, back to your questions. As I explained in one of my first emails, I
 have not sent you my phone number because I am not able to guarantee
 confidentiality when using it, as my manservant and secretary are employed
 to answer my phone calls, so a) It would look very odd if I started to
 answer the phone and b) They could easily listen to our calls without
 either of us knowing 

 Graham, I love you 

 Normy x x x

 Normy, 

  We thank God almighty for seeing us through this project.We really have
  every course to give him praises. 

  Normy,since you feel we cannot discuss on phone ok.My colleague`s in the
  International Remmitance Dept.of my Bank that are also into this project
  have assured me that all is well for you to recieve payment in America. 

 I have really spent so much to bring things to this level,i am relying on
 you so i can pay back the people i borrowed money from soon.From the
 Documents from my Bank,the only requirement the officials demand from you
 before payment in America is the Adminstrative and Draft Charges amounting
 to 0.1% of total sum payable in cash.The 0.1% amounting to
 $18,500(eighteen thousand five hundrend dollars). 

  Normy,our rules over here is that.This charges must be paid before claim
  of inheritance,this has been our rules so we canot change it.Therefore,i
  beg you to please do all you can to see through.We cannot let everything
  down now. 

  Normy,I undrestand that this might come as a surprise to you but please
  don`t be upset.I know that this money is quite big,but we cannot afford
  to loose out now because of this.Please do all you can to arrange for
  this money before travelling,as this is the only thing that can hinder us
  now.Normy,i am relying completely on you to see us through. 

  Normy,i know you did not bargain for this likewise myself.The only thing
  i can tell you now is for to do this as your own sacrifice for this
  project,like you know as a christain nothing good comes easy.Since you
  will have the funds in your care,you can deduct all that you have spent
  immediately after recieving payment including cost of travelling as i am
  also keeping records of all ihave spent.We will remove all that have
  spent,before sharing according to the Percentage we have agreed. 

  Normy,please indicate to me how you wish to recieve Documents so i can
  send them to you. I await your mail. 

 Regards and love, 

 Graham. 

 Graham,

 Hey!whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaassssssuppppppppppppppp dude? Take a chill pill,
 cool your jets maaaan, 18,500 dead presidents ain't nuttin' to a gangsta
 playa o-g hustler pimpin' be-yatch like Ol'Normy, 

 Is that all you need?  if you needed more, and you were too embarassed to
 ask, I think I can trust you with anything up to 100 big ones 

 Oh yes, how would I like to receive my documents? I know it may be a
 little awkward but I think in the best interests of our watchword,
 "confidentiality", these documents should be sent by carrier pigeon,
 failing that, could you send someone with them secreted about their person
 e.g. rolled into a tube and inserted into the anus cavity like some king
 of Columbian drugs mule? 

 I hope man-man love is socially acceptable in your country, Graham,
 because frankly, 

 You turn me on

 Normy, 

 What is the meaning of what you are writting?I suppose you understand the
 state of this project.I have done my part here to bring this project to
 this level,please do not jeorpadise everything now. 

 Like i told you i will like to speak to you,please do send me your number
 so i can call you.Normy,we cannot afford to back out now.I suppose you
 understand that nothing good comes easy.Please relax anmd think this over.

 I will await your reply. 

 Regards, 

 Graham.

 Graham, 

 What can I say? I am so sorry I wrote such silly nonsense to you, I have
 just re-read it and I don't understand it myself. It was my birthday today
 and I had far too much to drink, and because I had not touched a drink for
 years it went straight to my head. 

 I allowed myself a few drinks to celebrate, not just my birthday, but our
 partnership and our future together both in business and as brothers and
 friends.

  How can I ever thank you for bringing this sudden good fortune my way,
  when I was teetering on the verge of having to sell the family silver to
  pay for the upkeep of the house, it's grounds and the loyal staff. Thanks
  to you I will be able to retain the services of 8 of the gardeners and 4
  of the kitchen staff. 

 Thanks, 

 Normski

 Normy,

 I was really surprised at your mail,as it was the last thing i expected
 from you especially at this stage of this project.Normy now that you have
 read my mail all over, can you please explain what i was trying to let you
 know.

 Like i said we will have to conclude this transaction in earnest,as time
 is really running.Normy like i said in my mail how do you wish to recieve
 the Documents?Email or fax,please let me know this immediately.How is your
 flight schedule now?

 Normy,i expect your immediate reply.Anyway,Happy Birthday my good friend

 Regards,

 Graham

 Graham, 

 I do not understand what you are asking me to do. 

 What is it that surprised you about my email? 

 "can you please explain what i was trying to let you know" is rather
 difficult to do, as only you know what you were trying to let me know, and
 so without knowing what you were trying to let me know, letting you know
 what you were trying to let me know is something I don't know how to do,
 if you know what I mean. 

 If you are unable to secure a reliable carrier pigeon for the documents,
 then fax me them, I gave you the number in my second email to you, brother
 Graham. How about a new watchword as I am getting a little bored with
 "confidentiality" and think "clarity" would be a good replacement. 

 let me know, 

 love and kisses from 

 Normy and The Lord Jesus Christ, Our Saviour x x x

 Normy, 

  I will fax the Documents to you tomorrow after closing hours.How is your
  flight schedule now?How far have you gone about raising the Money for
  Adminstrative charges that you will need to pay at the Centre in Houston?

 Normy it is important you go along with this money,as that is the only
 thing that can hinder this Project now.Like i said,you can take back this
 money immediately after recieving payment.Since i am entrusting this Funds
 in your care you should have no fear,all you need to do is take out
 whatever amount you spent in this transaction.I am keeping records of all
 i am spending,as we will take back all we spent even before sharing. 

 Normy since you are having the Documents tomorrow,are you still traveling
 on Friday?Please do all you can as we are now at the peak of this
 project.All that is remaining now is for you travel and recieve Payment. 

 Normy,i hope the fax number you gave is Confidential enough to recieve
 this Documents.

  I hope i have made myself clear in this mail. 

 Regards, 

 Graham.Crytal 

 Ckear.Sor 

 Ron 

 Graham, 

 Oh yes, you have yourself clear alright, don't worry about the money you
 asked for as I managed to get some loose change converted by a friend who
 had spare dollars from a recent business trip. He gave me a very good deal
 and so I actually have over $19 and not just the $18.50 you wanted. 

 See you soon, in the Big Nipple or whatever they call it 

 kiss kiss 

 Normeroony

 Normy, 

 You still did not answer the question.Are you still travelling on Friday
 as earlier planned?I will send the Documents,when i am sure that you are
 set for the trip. 

  The $18,500.00,is the cost of both Adminstrative and Draft charges.So i
  am the person demanding for it as you said in your mail.You will take
  along with you to Houston this amount,as you will need to settle this
  charges before recieving Payment. 

 Please do get to me with your flight schedule,so i know your stand for
 now. 

 I will await your mail. 

 Regards, 

 Graham. 

 Graham, 

 Whaddyamean? It's you that has not sent the fax that I was waiting for, so
 please do not try to twist things to cover up for your lack of
 professionalism, I am beginning to wonder what on earth you are playing
 at, you keep asking me to be "confidential" etc, and then you send me
 things that should anyone intercept them, will send the whole shithouse up
 in flames. I will be in Houston on Monday morning with the money you
 requested. 

 I have booked in at the    InterContinental Hotel 
                                            2222 West Loop South 
                                             HOUSTON, TX 77027 

 and have arranged that you can phone me at this number if you want to
 speak to me, (713) 526 7174 it is a Houston Number, if you ask to speak to
 "The Man who is waiting to do business" they will get me for you, I did
 not want to leave my name 

 The Normster

 Normy, 
 I am having aproblem getting the Fax number you gave me.Please instruct me
 on how to dial the Number,include your Country Code and reconfirm number

 Regards, 

 Graham.

 Graham,

 I insist you smarten up your act, here I am in Houston, killing time by
 entertaining prostitutes in my hotel suite whilst waiting to hear
 something. At this rate I'll have spent my wad by the time we meet. To
 fax, you change the first '0' of the number to '+44'

 Normy the Stud 

 Normy, 
  For the sake of time as i am unable to get the Documents to you through
  fax i decided to send them through this medium.You can print them out
  from your printer,this will even bring a better print out than fax.
  Please confirm reciept of this Documents immediately.I will want you to
  contact the Chief Payment Officer:Mr Guy Oliver Immediately so you can
  let him of your arrival.You must talk to him immediately. Regards, 

 Graham

 Normy, 

 Please confirm reciept of the Documents to me immediately.You will have to
 speak to the CPO in Houston before travelling. 

 I await your prompt response. 

 Graham.

 --------------------------------------------------------------------------
 ------ Do you Yahoo!? Yahoo! Mail Plus - Powerful. Affordable. Sign up now

 Graham,

 I have the documents, I can hardly contain my excitement, we are so close.
 I am on the vinegar strokes, and in answer to your last question, yes, I
 do 'Yahoo' and find Yahoo! Mail plus to be both powerful and (especially
 now) very affordable

 Graham,

 I have fucked up big time, one of the prostitutes I was fooling around
 with at the hotel has gone and fucking died on me. She thought that the
 heroin I had bought (for my own recreational use, I can handle it) was
 actually cocaine, and the silly bitch has snorted most of a bag of top
 notch mexican brown I just got fresh over the border in Tijuana.

 What a fucking waste. It was such good gear, anyway, I've got her in a
 fucking suitcase in the back of a rented station wagon and am going to
 dump it. I will be in touch again as soon as the heat is off.

 Thanks for the laughs,

 Norm 'Bitchkilla' Bettison

 Normy,

 Call the (CPO) at once.Here again are his contacts:

 Tel:713-298-5391,713-498-5714

 Fax:382-248-5755.

 Call him and tell him why you are in Houston.Be serous Normy,and lets get
 this done.

 Hello, Dr Douglas,

 I am 'Normy's wife, and I have found out what he has been up to. How he
 has the nerve to claim that I am dead I don't know, but I'll tell you this
 much, he'll fucking well wish he was dead when I get hold of him. 

 I will spank his backside with my special hairbrush until it bleeds (and
 yes, I do mean the hairbrush and not his fat spotty arse)

 Regards,

 Ethel Bettison (Mrs)