[lfjokes] France...

[simondo]

  "France has neither winter nor summer nor morals.
  Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country.
  France has usually been governed by prostitutes."
  ---Mark Twain
  
  "I would rather have a German division in front of me
  than a French one behind me."
  --- General George S. Patton
  
  "Going to war without France is like going deer
  hunting without your accordion."
  --Norman Schwartzkopf
  
  "We can stand here like the French, or we can do
  something about it."
  ---- Marge Simpson
  
  "As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure."
  ---Jacques Chirac
  
  "As far as France is concerned, you're right."
  ---Rush Limbaugh
  
  "The only time France wants us to go to war is when
  the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee."
  --- Regis Philbin
  
  "The French are a smallish, motley-looking bunch and
  not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens
  of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and
  drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more
  stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses
  of whiskey I don't know."
  --- P. J O'Rourke
  
  "You know, the French remind me a little bit of an
  aging actress of the 1940s who is still trying to dine
  out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it any
  more."
  ---John McCain
  
  "You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam
  Hussein? Because he hates America, he loves mistresses
  and wears a beret. He IS French, people."
  --Conan O'Brien
  
  "I don't know why people are surprised that France
  won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all,
  France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of
  France!"
  ---Jay Leno
  
  "The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it
  came marching into Paris under a German flag."
  --David Letterman
  
  How many Frenchmen does it take to change a light
  bulb? One. He holds the bulb and all of Europe
  revolves around him.
  
  "The heaviest cross I had to bear was the Cross of
  Lorraine."
  ---Winston Churchill