[lfjokes] Has the woman no heart?

[simondo]

From:
http://www.chaser.com.au/show_story.asp?ID=638&ED=68&CAT=6&NAME=diaz

Teen's dying wish for Cameron Diaz blow job not granted


PHILADELPHIA, Monday: The parents of 15-year-old leukaemia patient Josh
Morten, who last night passed away after a four year battle with the
illness, said they were sorry not to have fulfilled his dying wish to
get a blow job from Cameron Diaz.

The courageous teenager told his family two months ago that the one
thing he'd really like before he died was to be sucked off by the
successful Hollywood actress and former model.

"Josh never asked for much," his father confided. "He never complained
about his illness, or made unrealistic demands. So when he requested
fellatio from the star of Charlie's Angels and There’s Something About
Mary we thought, sure, that’s the least we can do for him."

But attempts to grant Josh his dying wish proved much more difficult
than the family had initially thought. Formal requests inviting the star
to perform oral sex on their dying son were repeatedly declined.
"We wrote, we rang, we faxed," Mr Morten explained. "And every time it
was the same answer: 'Sorry, Ms Diaz is currently unable to comply with
your request.' I mean, how unsympathetic can you get? We're talking
about a dying kid here! Would it kill her?"

Mr Morten even made a special trip to Los Angeles, to try to talk to the
movie star personally outside the premiere of Gangs of New York. "The
crowds were ten deep," he said, "and I'm there yelling out to her from
the back: 'Will you go down on my son please!', but she didn’t want to
know."

With hopes diminishing by the day, Mr Morten placed similar standby
requests with the agents representing Catherine Zeta Jones, Jennifer
Lopez and Salma Hayek, but in each case the stars refused to co-operate.

"Who do they think they are, these women!" railed Mr Morten. "They earn
millions of dollars and swan about at fancy parties, but when they get a
simple request to bring a smile to a young boy far less fortunate than
them, they turn their back on you. What kind of world do we live in when
a dying teenager can no longer get his cock sucked by a celebrity?"