[lfjokes] Test your maths...

[simondo]

 A construction boss in Belfast was interviewing men when along came a 
 guy named Paddy from Dublin. 
 
 "I'm not hiring no dumb fock paddy from Dublin," the foreman thought, so
 he made up a test hoping that Paddy wouldn't be able to answer the questions
 and he'd be able to refuse him the job without getting into a dispute. 
 
 "Here's your first question," the foreman said. 
 "Without using numbers, represent the number 9." 
 
 "Wittout nombers?" Paddy says. "Agh!  Dat's easy," and he proceeds to draw
 3 trees. 
  
 "What's this?" the boss asks. 
  
 The guy replies, "Ain't ye got no brains? 
 Tree'nTree'nTree makes 9.  Are ye feckin' tick or wa?" 
  
 "Fair enough," says the Boss. "Here's your second question.  Use the 
 same rules, but this time use the number 99." 
  
 Paddy stares into space for a minute, then picks up the picture he has 
 drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. 
  
 "Dare ye arre, me mucker." 
  
 The Boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to 
 represent 99?" 
  
 Paddy says, "Each a de trees is dirty now!  So it's dirty tree 'n 
 dirty tree 'n dirty tree - daa makes 99". 
  
 The Boss is getting worried he's going to have to hire the Dubliner so 
 he says, "All right, last question. Same rules but this time use 100. 
  
 "Paddy stares into space again, then picks up the picture once more, 
 makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Dare ye arre, 
 buddy, a hunnert." 
 
 The Boss looks at the picture for a moment and says, "You must be nuts 
 if you think that represents 100! " 
  
 Paddy leans forward and points to the mark at the base of the trees. 
 "See der? Well a little feckin' doggie comes along and takes a shoite 
 on each a dem trees, so now ya got dirty tree an' a turd, dirty tree 
 an' a turd, dirty tree an' a turd - which makes a hunnert. 
 
 When do I start?!"