[lfjokes] Kids say the darnest things

[simondo]

  Student : "Sir, do you think......."
  Teacher : "Yes, Albert? What's the question?"
  Student : "No, that's my question. Do you think?"
 
  
  Teacher : "Danny, you make a remarkable progression with your
 typing.
  You got much less mistake. You only make 13 mistakes here."
  Student : "Oh, thank God.."
  Teacher : "Now, let's move to the next sentence.."
 
  
  Teacher : "What's your name?"
  Student : "Danny"
  Teacher : "Say..."Sir"... when you answer.."
  Student : "Sir Danny..."
 
  
  Daniel : "What do you think I'm? Pretty or ugly?"
  Nina : pause... "Well, quite both of them... Pretty uggly.."
 
  
  TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your maths sums on the
  floor?
  CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!
  
 
  TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
  SARAH: "HIJKLMNO"!!
  TEACHER: What are you talking about?
  SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
  
 
  TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we
 didn't have ten years ago.
  WILLY: Me!
 

  TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
  TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
 
  
  SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
  FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
  SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.
  
 
  TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting
  insects?
  JOSE: Don't bite any.
  
 
  Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
  JOHNNY: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the sameday
  sametime."
  
 
  Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his
  father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know
  why his father didn't punish him?"
  JOHNNY: "Because George still had the axe in his hand."
 

  Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing,
  one is green and one is blue with red spots!
  Kirk : Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the
  same at home.
 
   
  At a church school gathering, one little old lady approached
  a cute 5-year-old girl and asked her from whom she got her good
  looks.
  "I musta got 'em from my Daddy," said the little girl,
  "'cause Mommy's still got hers."
 

  Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey
  and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
  Student: Brotherly love.
 
  
  Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers
  before eating?
  Sam : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
 
  
  Teacher: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly
  the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
  Desmond: No, teacher, it's the same dog!