[lfjokes] A joke to have you kicking...

[simondo]

  A high flying Auckland lawyer went duck hunting in 
  rural Canterbury. 
  He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a 
  farmer's field on the other side of a fence. 
  As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly 
  farmer drove by on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. 
  The lawyer responded, "I shot a duck and it fell 
  in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it." 
  The old farmer replied, "This is my property, and 
  you are not coming over here." 
  The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best 
  trial lawyers in the southern hemisphere, if you don't let me get 
  that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own. The old farmer 
  smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do things in 
  Canterbury. We settle small disagreements like this with the Mehrtens 
  Three Kick Rule." 
  The lawyer asked, "What is the Mertens Three Kick Rule?" 
  The Farmer replied, "Well, first I kick you three times and then you 
  kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up." 
  The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed 
  contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He 
  agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed 
  down from the tractor and walked up to the Jaffa. 
  His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work 
  boot into he lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. 
  His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's 
  last meal gushing from his mouth. 
  The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's 
  third kick to his rear end sent him face-first into a fresh cow pat. 
  The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his 
  feet. 
  Wiping his face with the arm of his silk suit jacket, he said, 
  "Okay, you old coot, Now it's my turn."
  The old farmer smiled and said, "Naw, I give up. 
  You can have the duck." .