[lfjokes] Because Stats is Great

[simondo]

Statistical Humor

"Three statisticians go deer hunting with bows and arrows. they spot 
a big buck and take aim. One shoots and his arrow flies off three 
metres to the right. The second shoots and his arrow flies off three 
metres to the left. The third statistician jumps up and down yelling; 
We got him! We got him!"

Two unbiased estimators are sitting in a bar, having a few beers. The 
first one says, "How do you like being married?" The second one 
says, "It's okay, but you lose a degree of freedom!"

Definition of a statistician: A mathematician broken down by age and 
sex.

On independence: I read that there's about 1 chance in 1000 that 
someone will board an airplane carrying a bomb. So I started carrying 
a bomb with me on every flight I take; I figure the odds against two 
people having bombs are astronomical.

Q: Why do people decide to become statisticians?
A: They find accounting too exciting.

A statistician is someone who can draw a mathematically exact line 
from an unwarranted assumption to a foregone conclusion.

A statistician is a person whose lifetime ambition is to be wrong 5% 
of the time.

Someone read in the Script that God protects all fools and decided to 
test it empirically. He jumped out of the window and broke a leg. 
There he lies, writhing in pain, and happily thinks: 'I never really 
considered myself a fool, but I never knew I was THAT clever!'.