[lfjokes] Aussie Jokes

[Adam Shand]

Did you hear that the Australian Post Office has had to recall their 
latest stamps? They had pictures of the Australian Rugby test players on 
them. People couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

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Did you hear about the Australian politician who was found dead in a 
Wallabies shirt? The police had to dress him up in women's underwear in 
order to save his family from the embarrassment.

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Four surgeons are taking a coffee break. The first one says, 
"Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up 
everything inside them is numbered."

The second surgeon says, "Nah, librarians are the best; everything 
inside them is in alphabetical order."

Third surgeon says, "Try electricians. Everything inside them is 
colour-coded."

The fourth one says, "I prefer an Australian rugby player. They're 
heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and arses are 
interchangeable."

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Q. If you are driving along and see an Australian Wallaby fan
    on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to hit him?
A. It could be your bicycle.

Q. What do Australian Wallaby fans and sperm have in common?
A. One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.

Q. What do you have when 100 Australian Wallaby fans are buried
    up to their necks in sand?
A. Not enough sand.

Q. What's the difference between a dead dog on the road and a
    dead Australian fan on the road?
A. There are skid marks in front of the dog.

Q. You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a snake & an Australian
    fan & you have a gun with two bullets. What do you do?
A. Shoot the Australian fan -twice.

Q. What's the difference between an Australian and a broken jet
    engine?
A. A jet engine eventually stops whining.

Q. How many Male Australian rugby fans does it take to change a
    light bulb.
A. Seven - one to change it, five to moan about it & a Manager to
    say that if the referee had done his job in the first place the
    light bulb would never have not gone out