[lfjokes] Political Quotes

[Adam Shand]

"Finally, a candidate who can explain the Bush administration's 
positions on civil liberties in the original German."
-- Bill Maher,  on Schwarzenegger running for Governor.

"President Bush is supporting Arnold but a lot of Republicans are not, 
because he is actually quite liberal. Karl Rove said if his father 
wasn't a Nazi, he wouldn't have any credibility with conservatives at all."
-- Bill Maher

"They're saying Arnold will get 95% of the vote. At least according to 
his brother, Jeb Schwarzenegger."
-- Craig Kilborn

"President Bush has been silent on Schwarzenegger.  Of course, he can't 
pronounce Schwarzenegger."
-- David Letterman

"Here's how bad California looks to the rest of the country. People in 
Florida are laughing at us."
-- Jay Leno

"Well, we're all excited because President Bush has started his 35-day 
vacation.  He's down there in Crawford, Texas and on the first day of 
his vacation he went fishing.  He didn't find any fish but he believes 
they're there and that his intelligence is accurate."
-- David Letterman

"The United States is putting together a Constitution now for Iraq.  Why 
don't we just give them ours?  It's served us well for 200 years, and we 
don't appear to be using it anymore, so what the hell?"
-- Jay Leno

"President Bush held his first full press conference in over 5 months 
this week.  He announced that the war on terrorism is continuing, much, 
much more work needs to be done on the economy, and Saddam Hussein has 
not yet been captured.  And then he said, 'I'm going  on vacation for a 
month.'"
-- Jay Leno

"President Bush is leaving to go to Crawford, Texas, for a 35-day 
working vacation.  This should go over big with all the people taking a 
can't-get-work vacation."
-- David Letterman

"The White House says that the vacation in Texas will give President 
Bush the chance to unwind. My question is, when does the guy wind?"
-- David Letterman

"President Bush's economic team is now on their jobs and growth bus tour 
all across America.  I think the only job they created so far is for the 
guy driving the bus."
-- Jay Leno

"President Bush has refused to declassify portions of the congressional 
9/11 reports about the Saudis, because he says it will help the enemy. 
Not Al Qaeda, the Democrats."
-- Jay Leno