[lfjokes] There is a new priest at the church

[Adam Shand]

There is a new priest at the church, ready to hear confession for the 
first time, and he's a bit nervous as he feels it will be complicated, 
so he asks father O'Malley, "what kind of penance do I give for 
different sins?"

Father O'Malley answers, "it's simple really: for something minor give
one hail mary, for something bad give two hail mary's, and for something 
really bad, give three hail mary's".

So the new priest gets into the booth, and here's his first confession:
"father I've had impure thoughts about a woman". He says "go say one 
hail mary".

Next: "father I've had impure thoughts about my neighbor's wife!" "Say
two hail mary's".

Then: "father I've had an affair with my neighbor's wife!" "Goodness! 
Say three hail mary's".

At this point the priest is feeling comfortable, "ah this isn't too 
hard", he thinks. But next: "father I've had anal sex with my neighbor's 
wife". "Uh oh!" he thinks, "Father O'Malley didn't tell me what to do 
for something this bad, and now he's not around! Oh I'll ask Chris the 
altar boy for advice, he's around and hears confessional all the time".

So he goes over to Chris the altar boy and asks "Chris, what does Father 
O'Malley give for anal sex?"

"Well usually a coke and bag of crisps".