[lfjokes] airport fun ...

[Captain Larry]

From: John P McDaniel <jpmcdaniel at home.com>
Via:  http://www.rustyshrapnel.com/airport.html

Ten Things to Do in an Airport that Could Get You Hurt/Arrested

1. Tool around in the courtesy wheelchairs.  Make racecar noises, call
   yourself "The Intimidator" and force the ticket staff people to be your
   "pit crew."

2. Stash a small metal object somewhere on your person.  When the staff at
   the metal detector ask you to remove it, say "why don't you try to find
   it, and don't use that wand, that would be cheating."  Waggle eyebrows
   suggestively.

3. Pick various pieces of foliage out of the plant displays and hand them
   out to fellow travelers.  Chant while doing so.

4. "Borrow" one of the courtesy carts, drive up to the nearest airport
   McDonald's, and ask for drive-thru service.

5. Walk up to the Welcome Services desk and demand that they welcome you.  
   Do this on five-minute intervals.

6. Have a friend put you in a garbage bag and leave you on a baggage
   carousel.  Make ticking noises.

7. When the ticket staff ask you if you packed your bags, claim your 36
   other personalities packed them, and have the staff ask them all
   individually by name.

8. Run around the terminal with your arms spread, making plane noises.  
   Hijack yourself, demand more peanuts, and force a water landing in the
   men's room.

9. Send yourself through the baggage x-ray.  Call it your "weekly medical
   exam."  Ask if the lump has gotten any bigger.

10. Rearrange the ropes in the ticket line to form a maze.  Force your
    fellow travelers to run the maze, while you scream "dance, my little
    puppets, DANCE!"